The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 380 times
Member Comments
I'm a huge fan of yellow, so I believe my opinion is biased, but I'll give it anyway.

I LOVED this piece!

One particular sentence struck me: 'I see the carefree innocence of youth mixed with the sublte hints of the woman she will one day be." Ugh! That hit me--in the chest--just as you described. At first, I pictured my daughter, and winced at the thought of losing her childhood innocence, but then, as I read on, I realized, I was wincing at the memory of the loss of myself, as that young girl, innocent and pure, not having any idea of what lies ahead.

For a moment, I suspected you had read some of my old diaries.

Other than what seems to be a minor typo in the last sentence of the first paragraph, I have no notes for improvement. Very well done.
This is beautiful and poignant and powerful. What wonderful descriptions, and so thought-provoking. Thank you