Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Illustrate the meaning of "Don't Cut off Your Nose to Spite Your Face" (without using the actual phrase or litera (02/14/08)
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TITLE: A Secret | Previous Challenge Entry
By W. Yvonne Birnell
02/19/08 -
LEAVE COMMENT ON ARTICLE
SEND A PRIVATE COMMENT
ADD TO MY FAVORITES
Without giving to much thought
To their words or their effect
Upon others minds and heart
So many times we’re tempted
To get even with that jerk
Now you must control yourself
Or else you’ll go berserk
Yes all of us go through this
Speaking when we should’ve stopped
Never quit conceiving though
Into fire we just hopped
When we go berserk you see
It’s ourselves we hurt the most
Other just keep moving on
While you’re totally engrossed
So engrossed you now have built
A prison around your mind
In that prison you will stay
Till forgiveness you do find
I’ve learned a little secret
Let God cover up your heart
Put them in God’s loving hands
From their words then you depart
Say, “ God is my avenger”
As you smile and move along
Knowing in your inner parts
It’s God who makes you strong
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Be careful to use the right spelling of "too" (2nd line). And I'd suggest a second look at meter; this one's just a little bit jumpy.
I like your rhyming of "most" and "engrossed"--very good and effective rhyme.
Laury