The Official Writing Challenge
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Wow - this is a very intense, action-packed piece. Almost reads like a segment from a bigger novel. The content was a little disturbing for me, but well written! Good job.
Very action-packed and suspenseful!

There are a few spots where words seem to be missing, and a couple of other tweaks needed.

This definitely reads like part of a larger work, one that would be intriguing.
Exciting! You certainly kept me on pins and needles, wondering if he was going to make it.
I got a little confused about the Death pendant.
This could probably be made into a longer adventure story.