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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Shopping (03/01/07)
Alice Renee Walker was a single mother of two boys Richard four and Alexander two. She just lost her job welfare won’t kick in for a month. Her last check was spent on paying the bills she was looking forward to her next check to get groceries. But it didn’t work out like she planned. But she got to remembering what her mother always said. “When you have no where else to turn pray to God he’s always there listening and he will answer your prayers if you just believe.” So Alice fell down on her knees and started to pray to the Lord. When she was done she got up off her knees put her boys coats on and then hers. She walked with one boy on each side to the neighbor hood Kroger’s to go shopping for groceries. She had only one dollar in her pocket but she had a heart full of faith. She praised the Lord the whole way to the store. Once she arrived at the store she put her children in the cart and walked down the aisles of the store doing her shopping. She picked up can goods, dairy products meat and other items. She walks to the cash register and stands in line. The man standing in front of her turned and gave a quick glance in her direction. But Alice didn’t pay it any attention she is to busy thanking and praising the Lord for the food she had prayed for. You put your groceries on the black conveyor. While the man in front of you is paying for his groceries he leans over and whispers to the cashier. “I’m paying for her groceries here’s a hundred dollars. If there is any change use the change for the next customer who’s in need.” The man looks back at the woman and her sons and nods. Alice smiles and says “Have a blessed day.” The man says god bless you and leaves the store. The cashier rings up her groceries and when she’s finished the cashier tells Alice “The gentleman already paid for your groceries.” Alice looked at the cashier smiled brightly said “Thank you and God bless you.”Alice picked up her bags of groceries and walked back home with her boys by her side and praising and thanking the lord all the way home. Now this is what you call a blessed shopping trip.
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Member Comments
Member
Date
cindy yarger
03/09/07
"Now this is what you call a blessed shopping trip." Agreed! "When you have nowhere else to turn pray to God.." Such a sad state when we turn to Him last instead of first. It is neat to see in your story though that it doesn't hinder God's answer even if we seek Him last. Good job.
Jacquelyn Horne
03/09/07
God comes through, if we only believe. Good example here. You need to work on sentencing, paragraphs and punctuation, but the context of the story is very good. Keep writing.
Donna Powers
03/15/07
How nice! What a wonderful answer to prayer, and a lovely example of walking by faith. Good job
Deborah Porter 
03/20/07
Hi Cheryl, and welcome to FaithWriters.

Well, what an uplifting message this was. I really hope it's true because it gave my heart such a lift to see the provision of God. But even if it isn't, I know that He does things like this through men and women all the time - we just have to respond to His prompting to be generous.

Cheryl, you really have come to the best place to find encouragement, guidance, and inspiration to help you grow as a writer. This little piece of writing is a bit of a diamond in the rough. It needs quite a lot of polishing so that nothing will get in the way of the message you are wanting to share.

One of the best ways to add quite a lot of polish is to start experimenting with punctuation and paragraphs. Visit the FaithWriters' Message boards and start asking questions from the other members, or do a Google for information. As a basic guide though, start a new paragraph when ever a new thought begins, or a slight change is made in what you are saying. Also change to a new paragraph whenever a different person starts to speak.

With punctuation, the best way to find out where to put it is to read your work out aloud. It may feel a bit silly doing that, but it will give you a very basic idea of where to put your commas and fullstops (or periods). It won't be perfect, but it should help you to pick up some of the places you are missing now. As you're reading, make a note of the spots where you pause. That will probably be a good place to put a comma or a fullstop. Like I said, it's not totally reliable, but a good way to get started.

If you haven't done so already, I hope you'll come over to the message boards. You'll find a lot of inspiration and encouragement over there.

With love, Deb (Challenge Coordinator and Editor, FaithWriters' Magazine)