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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Garden (09/07/06)
Patterns he wove on the dry cement
using tools of syrupy slime.
Minutes went by as he slowly progressed
one meager inch at a time.

Carrying his house upon his back
his burden seemed heavy to bare.
How can I help this creature out?
How can I get him there?

Picking him up, oh how he clung
like a suction cup to a wall.
He struggled with me, to let him be.
"You can fly now, you don't have to crawl!"

"Here little fellow, I'll help you get home.
Your problem has captured my heart.
I see your dilemma, and I'm here to serve."
As I placed him nine yards from the start.

A pat on the back for my good deed today,
I excitedly hurried away.
Until a thought struck my brain like a rock,
"He wasn't going that way!"

"What have I done? It will take him three days
to get back to where he was found."
I rushed to the spot where I placed him before,
the snail was not on the ground.

I thought of others I've served before
full of the best intentions.
Has my help done nothing more
than impede others' progressions?
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Member Comments
Member
Date
Betty Castleberry
09/15/06
Delightful! It made me smile, and think, too. I probably would have done the same thing, BTW.
Donna Powers
09/18/06
Excellent! Loved the snail, and her well-intentioned rescuer. The ending message was true and very suitable to the theme.
Marty Wellington 
09/19/06
Very nice piece with good lesson. Not quite sure how relates to "garden" topic, except that we find snails in our garden. Note that "bare" in one of your earlier lines should be "bear." I did, however, love your analogy about how we serve others sometimes not knowing whether our attempts are fruitful. Well done.
Sara Harricharan
09/19/06
This was beautiful! I loved your sense of ryhme-I think your opening sentence "Patterns he wove on the dry cement
using tools of syrupy slime."
Will stay with me for some time. Great job!
Ruth Renwick
09/21/06
It sounds like the snail's progress wasn't just impeded - after all, it couldn't have moved itself away so quickly. Perhaps you moved it to where it was seen by a bird and eaten! Makes me wonder if I've ever tried to help someone out but actually moved them into a position of more danger??? Good story/analogy to life.