Teens

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When you are in junior and senior high school, rumors fly all over the school. Like the supermarket tabloids, most of the time, these rumors are based on only a shred of truth. In high school, I showed up to a school event with my new boyfriend and introduced him to my classmates. I found out later that some of my friends were talking about him and me behind our backs. For my Child Development class, I carried around a flour sack baby for a week. My friend Mandi's mother saw me with it and asked Mandi, "When did Ann have a baby?" Both instances were enough to start people gossiping.

When we gossip, we say things about people behind their backs. Whether bad, true or untrue, spreading secrets about people that we wouldn't want them to find out about is always wrong. Sometimes we think that we are reporting the facts about someone, such as when we are requesting prayer for them or when someone asks about that person. The more we tell about the person, the more we border on gossiping and revealing things they told us in confidence.

Proverbs 11:13 (NIV) says, "A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy man keeps a secret."

We have the power to heal or hurt people with our tongues. The words we speak are sparked by the thoughts we think. We aren't always aware of how the things we hear, the programs we watch on television, the books we read and the movies we see, the music we listen to affects our thinking.

We have a generation of violent children, teenagers and young adults. Why? It is due in part to the violence on television and movies. Even the news bombarbs our minds with violent images of bombings, killings, fires, car crashes and so forth. We have become so indifferent to the suffering of others. We think that gossip is the price you pay for being a Hollywood actor or actress. We don't even shed a tear when those commericials come on about the starving children in other countries.

We need to start to control our thoughts. I Corinthians 10:5 instructs us "Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exaltheth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ."

Although we cannot always stop ourselves from viewing and hearing things that are offensive, we can choose what movies and programs we see, what we read and listen to. If we participate and listen to gossip, the things we hear start to take root in our hearts.

How do we change the thoughts that we already have?

Romans 12:2 tells us "And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God."

We can renew our minds by changing what we think in our hearts. "As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he" (Proverbs 23:7). We change what we think in our heart by changing the words that come out of our mouth, what goes in our ears and what we put before our eyes.

Why do people gossip?

Some people engage in gossip because it is a way that they can express their anger or bitterness toward the person. Others do it so they can feel superior to the ones they are talking about. People also gossip to pull people down to their level, to destroy someone else, because they have a careless tongue or to influence of other people.

What are the consequences for those who gossip?

"And he [Jesus] called the multitude, and said unto them, Hear and understand: Not that which goeth into the mouth defileth a man; but that which cometh out of the mouth, this defileth a man" (Matthew 15:10-11).

Gossip corrupts the person spreading the rumors. It reveals their lack of discipline and that they are ruled by sin. Gossipers drive godly people away and destroys their fellowship with God.

What does the Bible say about gossipers?

Don't gossip. "You shall not go about as a slanderer among your people, and you are not to act against the life of your neighbor" (Leviticus 9:16).

Choose your words carefully. "The words of a gossip are like choice morsels; they go down to a man's inmost parts" (Proverbs 18:8 (NIV).

Don't associate with gossips. "He who goes about as a slanderer reveals secrets, therefore do not associate with a gossip" (Proverbs 20:!9).

Gossiping will cause you to lose friends. "A perverse man spreads strife, and a slanderer seperates intimate friends" (Proverbs 16:38).

Your tongue can hurt or heal people. "Your tongue devises destruction, like a sharp razor, O worker of deceit" (Psalm 52:2).

Choose not to speak evil. "Keep your tongue from evil and your lips from speaking deceit. (Psalm 34:13).

Gossipping grieves the Holy Spirit. "Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers And grieve not the Holy Spirit of God, whereby ye are sealed unto the day of redeption" (Ephesians 4:29-30).

How do you stop gossiping?

Repent. I John 1:9 says "If we confess our sins, he [Jesus] is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." All you need to do is ask God to forgive you, and He will. He declares "I, even I, am he that blotteth out thy transgressions for mine own sake, and will not remember thy sins" (Isaiah 43:25).

Compensation. Although you may feel the need to apologize to the person you talked about, be aware that this option often makes the situation worse.

Don't associate with gossips. Hanging around people who gossip will tempt you to gossip too.

Pray for the person. Instead of apologizing, you may take the time to bring the person you have been gossiping about before God. The Bible tells us to pray for our enemies.

James 3:5-6 charges that "Even so the tongue is a little member, and boasteth great things. Behold, how great a matter a little fire kindleth. And the tongue is a fire, a world of inquity; so is the tongue among our members, that it defileth the whole body, and setteth on fire the course of nature; and it is set on fire of hell."

Remember that the James 3:8 says that the tongue can no one tame. Only God can do that. Ask Him to help you, stear clear of gossip and you will break the gossip habit.

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I am not in the Private Messenger. Please contact me at [email protected]

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