Humor

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On the Spur of a moment

I was an 8-year-old youngster just one year older than my youngest brother. It was a cold winter morning and my brother was standing there in his underwear waiting for his pants to warm up in front of the fireplace. He went to the bedroom for something leaving me standing there in front of the fire, his pants over a chair, and a Barlow knife in my pocket. And then it happened-a spur of the moment came over me!! I did not consider the consequences.

"Mama, who cut the seat out of my pants"?

"There were only two of you in the room! Who do you think would do a thing like that"!

The consequence of this "spur of the moment" was that I had to wear his pants all day long with my backside looking like two tiny cantaloupes with stripe across them sticking out the hole in the pants. You would think that I would have learned my lesson.

Fast-forward 2 years-

My first cousin and I had been in the woods shooting sparrows with our slingshots. We had two of them and wanted to roast them over an open fire. We had the fire going pretty good but decided it needed to be hotter. On a "spur of the moment" I decided that a little gasoline would get it going. I got a small cup from my dad's gas can and proceeded to throw it on the fire!

Whoosh!!

I did not consider the consequence of having to attend school the next day without eyelashes or eyebrows and with my scalp showing back to my ears. Kids will make fun of you. They are cruel that way.

Fast-forward 3 more years-

I was milking our cow June when my nephew walks into the barn. June was in a milk stall that was open to the outside over the feeding trough. There was enough room for June to jump over to the outside if she cared to but probably would not be enough room if somebody were on her back.

"You want to set on June's back while I finish milking her", I asked my gullible nephew.

He crawls upon her back and she didn't seem to mind as long as there was feed in the trough. It was at that moment that another "spur of the moment" hit me, not considering the consequence of my nephew being on June's back. I reached over, grabbed June by the tail and began to jerk it. At this moment she decided to exit the stall over the feeding trough to the outside, thus carrying my nephew with her. He did a commendable job of staying on her back for 30 seconds or so and if I were a judge I would have given him an 8 on a scale of 10 for his ride. After June got tire of my nephew being on her back she threw him into a pile of cow dung that we had piled up for further use in our fields.

I did not consider the consequence of having to spend the rest of the day with him smelling as he did.

Fast-forward 25 years-

My family was camping at a State Park in south Louisiana. It was Saturday night and the Grand Ole Opry was on clear channel WSM out of Nashville, TN. I was sitting in the car listening to the radio while my wife was putting the kids to bed. I noticed a big ole Tomcat messing around a garbage can near the car. He jumped up on the rim and after looking around decided to get down into the can. In a "spur of the moment" I thought it would be funny to reach in and grab him by the neck, thus surprising him. I never considered the consequence of not being able to turn a Tomcat loose when all his claws and teeth are in your hand.

Fast-forward to November 12, 2008-

Politics being such as it is "on a spur of the moment" I wrote a "Letter to the Editor" to our local newspaper expressing my views on the election, not considering the consequences or the fallout of my opinions. My son who is the Pastor of a nearby Baptist Church said, "Dad, one of my Church member read your article in the paper". That was when I explained to him that I had always did things in a "spur of the moments" and that in two or three months things would smooth out.

Fred Lee original

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