Humor

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Mister, you're gross!

Several years ago a friend of mine, lets call him T, was having lower stomach trouble. The Doctor suggested using a Proctoscope to check the lower intestine to find out what was causing the pain. My friend T was not particularly interested in doing this procedure but after some convincing from his wife he agreed to go on with the test. Several of his friends tried to encourage him by making statements such as "awe, don't worry T, the hose they use to inspect the inside of you is no bigger than a water hose". With friends like that who needs enemies.

The day finally came for the procedure and several of us went to the hospital to encourage and try to calm his nerves. Finally the Doctor came out and told his wife that all was well and as soon as he wakes up he can go home.

As anyone who has had one of these tests can verify the fact that they have to inject air into the colon, similar to blowing up an inner tube, so they can inspect the lining of the colon. Most of the time the air releases itself when the doctor removes the tube. In T's case this didn't happen-there was a blockage. The doctor said not to worry that it would release itself in due time.

T got dressed, still loaded with the air, and he and his wife got on the elevator to go to their car. About half way down to the garage floor the blockage broke loose. His wife described it as sounding somewhat like a flute then like one of them big horns used in parades, only louder. All would have been well except there was another lady and her little girl on the same elevator with them. Try as he would he couldn't stop the horn from blowing! Finally, the elevator stopped, the door opened, the lady with the little girl got off. The little girl turns around, looks at T, points her little finger at him and says, "Mister, you are gross".

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