Prayers

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What is the Almighty...
and what profit
do we get
if we pray
to Him?
[Job 21:15]
***********************
"Lord, can You HELP
me? Ya know: with
that PROBLEM, I've
been tellin' You,
ABOUT?"

[SILENCE.]
[GAZE AT THE INTERNATIONAL
SPACE STATION.]

"LORD?"

[WATCH A HERD OF BUFFALO
ON THE AMERICAN PLAINS.]

"L.....O......R.......D!"

[PATIENT GAZE AT
WHINY CHILD EATING
GENERIC RICE OUT'OF
A PLASTIC BOWL.]

(Impatient scrowl!)
(Drop some rice into the
crevices of the keyboard.)
"L.....O.....R......D?
L.....O.....R.....D!
SEE what I MEAN?
You never....... HEAR
my PRAYERS!"

[PATIENT SILENCE.]
[WATCH SOME ICE
FORMING ON TOP
OF MOUNT EVEREST.]

(Dip some generic microwave
chicken into Heinz ketchup*.)
"NEVER!"

[GENTLE GAZE.]
"Why do you
pray,
My child?"

(Impatient squirm.)
(Snort.)
(Drop some ketchup
onto bathrobe.)
"That's a good QUESTION!"

[PATIENT FROWN.]
"Is this the way
to speak to
your Lord,
child?"

"YEAH!"

[GENTLE FROWN.]

"Like......YEAH!"

[FAR OFF RUMBLE.]

"Frankly, I think
this PRAYER STUFF
is a waste a' TIME!"

[CLOSER RUMBLE.]

"And, I bet a LOT
of PEOPLE feel
that WAY!"

[PATIENT NOD.]

"I'm just more
VOCAL
ABOUT IT!"

[PATIENT SIGH.]

(Philosophical squint.)
"Hey, MAYBE there's
like.......GENERIC
praying....."
(Sassy smile!)
"And.....BRAND NAME
praying!"

[GENTLE CHUCKLE.]
"And what is that,
My beloved?"

(Thoughtful squint.)
(Drop some more rice
onto the floor.)
(Cat goes over to
sniff it.)
"Well......Ya know:
maybe it's like
Heinz KETCHUP."

[SMILE!]
"Yes.
Go on,
Mein kinder."

(Philosophical squint.)
"SOME people just
know how to PRAY
really GOOD!
(Glance up at ceiling.)
And.....it's the BEST!"

[SIGH.]

"Yeah.....and,
MINE is of the
GENERIC sort:
OKAY, and.....
NOURISHING....
but there's
always that
STORE brand taste!"

[PATIENT LISTENING.]
[WATCH A PLUMP BEAVER
BUILDING A DAM IN
SOUTHERN CANADA.]

(Grumpy frown.)

[PATIENT PAUSE.]
"All prayer is that,
My child."

(Whiny voice.)
"WHAT?"

[LOVING GAZE AT
CRANKY CHILD.]
"Nourishing.
Very nourishing."
*************************
For
your Father
knows
what you need
before you
ask Him.
[Matthew 6:8]

____________________
*The author is very
loyal. She was born
in Pennsylvania: the
home of Heinz ketchup.
Heck, she even lived
in Pittsburgh for 7
years....but, that's
ANOTHER story.

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