Politics

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And the ass*
saw the angel
of the Lord
standing in the road,
with a drawn
sword in his hand;
and the ass
turn aside
out of the road....
and Balaam
struck the ass.
[Numbers 22:23]
*************************
"Hey, LORD?
Guess WHAT?
I VOTED!"

[NOD.]
[CALM GAZE DOWN AT
HIS TALKATIVE, WHINY,
OPINIONATED CHILD,
SITTING AT HER DELL COMPUTER,
WEARING HER 2 PAIRS OF GLASSES.]

"YEAH!
I always vote the
straight TICKET.
It's a Michaelson TRADITION!
(Big toothy smile up at the ceiling fan.)
(Puzzled, thoughtful squint.)
I don't know WHY I kept
BUGGING Ya, about it!"

[CALM NOD.]

"Yeah!
It was no big DEAL!"

[SIGH.]

"I quess it's not POLITICALLY
CORRECT.... to discuss who
I VOTED FOR?"

[CHUCKLE.]

"Yeah.....
(Nearsighted-farsighted grimmace!)
I don't like how
those REPUBLICANS are
always TALKIN' about not
having Federal PROGRAMS!"

[PATIENT SILENCE.]

"YEAH!
They call POOR PEOPLE
LAZY!"

[PATIENT SIGH.]

"Let 'em eat CAKE!
That's what THEY SAY!"

"YEAH!
And, then they GIVE all
my TAX DOLLARS to
IRAQ!
ECH!
It's a QUAGMIRE!
ECH!
I don't SEE anybody in
IRAQ payin' for my
HEALTH insurance......
CO-PAY!"

[PATIENT NOD.]
[LISTEN TO A POLITICIAN
TALKIN' HIS MOUTH OFF,
ON THE RADIO.]

"Lord?
Are You L...I....S....T...E....N....I....N....G?"

[CALM NOD.]
[CONCERNED GAZE AT THE
EQUATORIAL EQUINOX.]

"LORD?"

[CALM NOD.]
"I am listening,
My precious."

"I'm gettin' all worked UP,
again, Lord!
(Irritated squirm.)
DON'T get me STARTED!"

[NOD.]
"What do you need to do,
My precious?"

"Eh........
(Nearsighted-farsighted squint.)
(Second pair of glasses slip
sidways, down nose.)
Well......I already VOTED.....
Hey, I heard that Sara Palin
went up to her home TOWN,
to vote today!
(Sassy smile!)
Ya think she's gonna sneak
in a little reindeer HUNTING,
while she's up THERE?"

[PATIENT SILENCE.]

"HUH?"

[PATIENT FROWN.]

"What d'Ya THINK?"
(Chuckle.)
(Push glasses up on nose.)

[PATIENT SIGH.]
"Child, what is it that
you need to do?"

(Clueless squint.)
(Pet scruffy, nonpedigreed
cat sitting beside keyboard.)
(Blow some scruffy fur
off of keyboard.)
"WHAT?"

[FROWN.]
"Think."

"Oh.
(Squint.)
Ya want me to call that
INSURANCE place to see if
they can find an eye doctor's
in San ANTONIO that'll
take my insurance CARD?"

[PATIENT NOD.]

(Impatient frown.)
"Ech!
I HATE calling those
insurance PLACES!"

[PATIENT SIGH.]

"They're ALL a bunch'a
SHEISTERS!"

[DEEP SIGH.]

"JUST like those POLITICIANS!"

"Child......."

(Impatient squirm.)
"OKAY!
OKAY!
How much Ya wanna BET
I won't be able to FIND
a PLACE?"

"Your Lord doesn't
bet, child."

"Aw, come ON, Lord!
Ya GOTTA have a sense 'a
HUMOR!"

[GENTLE SMILE.]
"But I do,
My child."

"Uh UH!"

"After all...
[PATIENT SIGH.]
Who made YOU?"
****************************
Then the Lord
opened the mouth
of the ass,
and she said
to Balaam,
What have I
done to you,
that you have
struck me
these three times?
[Numbers 22:28]
_________________________
In memory:
two passionate Democrats,
Mom and Dad.

_________________________
*I forget the internet
is worldwide:
'Ass' or 'donkey' is
the cartoon symbol of
the Democratic Party.
The 'elephant' is the
symbol of the Republican
Party. I guess if Sara Palin
were out where elephants
lived, she'd be out shootin'
them.

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