Christian Living

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Larry Lilly's Letter Tuesday October 14, 2008

I have been known to push the envelope in several different areas, one being married and others less dangerous. Not long ago The Great Blonde and I took a trip of several hundred miles. While enroute we stopped to eat and after leaving the restaurant and driving for about 20 minutes, the blonde child announced she had left her glasses back at the eatery. It took another five minutes before I could turn back. Being my usual daring self I began to rant and rave how could anyone be so dumb, etc. I ranted and raved for at least 25 minutes about her forgetting her glasses. If looks could kill, she would be charged with murder. Finally, we arrived at the restaurant and Joyce threw open her door, stormed toward the restaurant and I rolled down my window and shouted;

"And while you are in there pick up my Yankee's hat and my credit card."

I'm sure you can see that I spend much time teasing my little wife and you can imagine how deeply she appreciates this kind of romantic banter.

We finished our journey in relative peace and joy. I have never heard the girl say a cuss word in the entire 44 years of our sojourn together, yet I somehow know she had to have a talk with Jesus about words she was obviously thinking about my ancestry. I know the Lord forgave her.

Three or four days later, while we were sharing the silence of our motel room, she broke the silence and asked for forgiveness, and as I felt this supplication was genuine, I leaned over to permit her to kiss me and I woke up.

The marriage counselor assured me that as soon as Joyce told me of her getting preoccupied with putting her 57 cents change in her purse which resembles a steamer trunk, and forgot her glasses, I should have confessed to also forgetting something, even if I had not, in order for her to avoid suffering from the fear of some sort of dementia, as this fear is not as terror filled when you think your spouse is understanding and supportive or perhaps even a little worse off than you.

The practice of doing little things out of a heart filled with love for your spouse is only one of many secrets of enriching marital bless. I hope the above mentioned episode inspires you and your spouse to engage in banter that endears you to each other. I further advise that you pray a lot before launching on this path to bliss, as it has been known to be fraught with danger. You must first be very sure that your wife is totally under the control of the Holy Spirit and has a strong aversion to the death penalty. It might help if she actually went to a few protests at a local penitentiary, as this will give you confidence that you can safely pull off these tender acts of love.

I assure you that seeing the little woman fret across 25-50 miles over whether or not she is losing her marbles, will develop a much deeper respect for her and her obvious torment, for you do know that fear hath torment, and will cause waves of tenderness to wash over you. And if you understand anything at all about the female psyche, you will be dumbstruck at her absolute commitment to pacifism. Of course if she is not under the total control of the Spirit, you my friend are in the deepest of trouble. You will need the help of Jesus.

Larry Lilly Copyright © 2008 Use with credit.

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