Fiction

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Chapter 4

The following Sunday afternoon, Laveda was back at Café de Rencontre, but this time she was alone. It had been a long time since she took the time to do this, but she felt like she needed to. Though she’d prefer the beach, this would have to do. That was one of the drawbacks of living in the mid-west. She had an array of objects sitting in front of her; an empty mug, a used napkin, a flowered notebook, and a fountain pen. Her head was supported by her right hand, as she looked out the window. Why was she afraid to write? Suck it up, counselor, she told herself. It’s just a pen and a few words. It’s not going to kill you.

She picked up the pen. Drawing in a deep breath, the notebook was opened. The ink hit paper and her heart began to tumble out.

Soon she was so engrossed in her writing that she didn’t even notice Brice come and sit across from her at the table. He had seen her through the window and wanted to talk. He didn’t want to disturb her, so he came in and sat down quietly, watching her write. Her hair was down, making a good shield for her face, which was crumbled in pain. Brice still loved her. He was glad to see her determination had not disappeared in his months away. Her hands still gracefully held the pen, with curved lines as an expression of her soul. He didn’t want to see what she was writing, both for fear that it was about him and what she would do if she caught him reading. So, he just sat. It hurt him to see her like this and he wanted to hold her and tell her it was alright. But he knew it wasn’t his place anymore. He sighed.

“Brice?” Laveda looked up, suddenly aware of his presence. “What are you doing here?” She felt strangely comforted by the closeness of him. He had an odd expression on his face and she wondered what he was thinking.

He coughed. “Well, I was just passing by and thought I’d say hello.”

“Hello. There, mission accomplished. Anything else?”

He looked at her with some surprise, not expecting this bitterness.

“I know you’ve got more important things to do, so go. I’m okay.” She hated that he was witnessing her partial break-down, and wanted him to leave. There was nothing he could do, and it wouldn’t help her to be near him much longer.

“Laveda…” He touched her elbow as she poised herself to continue writing. “Laveda, look at me, please.”

She obeyed, hesitantly. After several nervous glances around the Cafe, she finally met his gaze.

“Thank you. Hello, Laveda.” His intense blue eyes looked at her with sincerity and concern. It was all she could do to keep from melting and falling again. He always made her feel so special, so cherished. But that time is gone, she reminded herself. He’s with someone else and you let him go. Get over it.

“Hi,” she said softly. She looked down at the mug in front of him. “Do you want some coffee?”

“No, thanks.” How was he going to do this? He hadn’t thought about what he was going to say. “Is this writing for business or pleasure? A bit too fancy for the office, don’t you think?” His attempt at humor made her relax a little.

“Oh, didn’t you hear? All office stationary is pink now. We find it encourages more passionate work.”

He smiled. “I don’t think passion was ever lacking from your work, Laveda,” he said, keeping his eyes on her.

Oh, no. He was doing it again. That smile… I’m not falling for you again, her thoughts chided him.

He self-consciously cleared his throat. “What I mean is, you were always so serious about your job.”

She rolled her eyes and leaned back in her chair. “It’s just a day job. At night I’m a circus clown.” She finished with a half smile, but he didn’t miss the sadness there. “Is Melinda enjoying her visit here?”

“I think so. I showed her all the hot spots, but she still prefers the big city.” Brice didn’t think it would be wise to share their recent argument. He loved small town life, and wasn’t sure he wanted to move to the city, while Melinda continually complained about the lack of opportunities in Pleasant Dale. Brice wondered how serious she was about marrying him sometimes. Did she love him enough to give up her city life?

“She’s from a thriving metropolis, I assume. Where is she from?”

“Well, she grew up in Boston, but her family moved to Denver when she was in junior high. Now she’s living in southern California. That’s where we met, you know.”

Laveda didn’t know and didn’t care to know. “I’m sure California is full of crazy women. You must feel very lucky to have found her.” She didn’t want to talk anymore. Her thoughts were slowing, and she wanted to finish her journaling before they disappeared completely. “Thanks for saying hello, but I really need to get back to my work.”

“Of course. I apologize for the interruption. Ah… Laveda…I did have something I wanted to t---”

“Thanks for stopping by.”

Right on cue, he thought. Well, if she wanted to be alone, he’d leave her alone. He stood up. “Sorry again for interrupting. I’m sure we’ll meet again. See you.”

He tried to catch her eye again, but she had already returned her focus to the paper. For one brief moment, he watched her. Then he slowly walked out and back towards the small department store where he’d left Melinda to try on a dozen unsuitable outfits.

She could feel his eyes on her as he exited through the front door. After that brief meeting, she was all emotions again. When he walked up, she had just written, “There’s a part of me that wants to take him back, to let myself love him again, to see if it could work…” Talk about timing! Frightened that he might return, she quickly gathered her things, left a tip for the waiter and returned home.

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