Family

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The women’s conference was everything I had hoped for and more. There was plenty of worship, dancing, teaching, fellowship and good food. The two days flew by in a glorious haze and I left feeling refreshed and full of the Holy Ghost.

Driving home I listened to one of my favorite CD’s and marveled at how wonderful the Lord had been to me. I had a notebook full of notes and a few women had spoken prophetically to me. My suitcase was bearing newly purchased books authored by the keynote speaker and two sets of taped teachings. I thought to myself, “I am READY for anything now.”

“I will boldly proclaim to my teenagers that they are children of the Lord and rebellion is not going to be tolerated” I said aloud in my van. “Things are going to change!”

I felt so full of fire that I was certain I must have been glowing. I was sure my family would take a look at me and see the glory of God just shining. As I pulled into the driveway, I took a moment to adjust my “Holiness” and smugly walked into the house. I waited for some reaction, there was no way they could all miss this new measure of Glory I had received.

I greeted each family member and no one seemed particularly astounded. I shrugged it off and told myself it would take a few minutes before they saw it. I was still settling in when I suddenly heard my husband say, “what’s for dinner?”

I stopped dead in my tracks and thought “Dinner? I am so full of the Holy Ghost here and he is asking me to COOK? Can’t he see how HOLY I am right now? What an insensitive jerk.”

I forced a smile and decided to practice some of the things I learned at the conference. I would patiently figure out what to make for dinner, even though I was certain it would entail a trip to the grocery store. I would hum something spiritual while I cooked. I would be downright pleasant to him and maybe he would feel a bit guilty for expecting me to handle this mundane task while I was basking in the glow of the Lord.

On my way to the store I started singing an old Amy Grant song “I have to come down from the mountain top, to the people in the valley below….” And throughout the quick shopping trip I continued to pat myself on the back for being so wonderful and long-suffering.

We sat down to dinner and almost made it through 2 bites when a major argument erupted between my son and my Husband. My 15-year-old left not only the table, but also the house all together. I followed him into the back yard to correct him and soon found myself yelling at him and even smacked his forearm in anger.
I went back into the house to yell at my husband. “You are BOTH wrong here.” I chastised. They were also both unwilling to budge. “Why can’t we ever have a nice family dinner like other families do?” I felt sorry for myself and felt the tears brimming.

I sat down and realized that my “holiness” seemed to be slipping. “If it were not for this man and these kids, I could be so holy.” I thought to myself. I continued to entertain thoughts about how I wished I could do it all over again. “I would raise these kids better if I had another shot. They would be more respectful and much more godly.”

I decided that I needed to pray. Right in the middle of some spiel about how God needed to change this man, the Lord allowed me to see my own arrogance. When God teaches me something, he often does it in a flash. Instead of spelling it all out he will just give me an anointed infusion of wisdom. In less than 10 seconds he showed me that this is where the rubber meets the road, when things get sticky and there is no clear-cut biblical answer. When emotions and pride are rearing and egos are striving to be numero uno. I also realized those moments like this was what it was all about. He had the answers and I needed him.

My son and my husband usually get along well, but when they have a disagreement they tend to let it fester for days, even weeks. More than anything I wanted this time to be different. They needed to resolve this. “Lord, help me out here” I prayed.

I somehow managed to get my son back to the table. I am not known for my patience, but the Lord gave me just the right measure. I talked to both of the “offenders” and was amazed that God seemed to be giving me just the right words to both correct my son and still honor my husband. Before we left the table they apologized and forgave each other. A few minutes later they were tossing a football around and both had peaceful smiles.

I was humbled but encouraged. Maybe I couldn’t walk around with a “holy glow”, but I could lean on Him moment by moment. Going to a conference and hearing sound teaching is wonderful, but we will never be prepared to handle things without God. The minute we are set to handle a situation with ease, a new one will arise. It is all part of the master plan. God wants us to lean on him; this is not a sign of weakness but of submission. The best part is that we are sure to succeed when we follow his direction.

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