Faith

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And the Lord
said to Satan,
Have you considered
My servant Job,
that there
is none like him
on the earth.......?
And the Lord
said to Satan,
Behold,
he is in your power......
[Job 2:3-6]
***********************
"HELP!
Help, LORD!
I'm DROWNING!"

"No, you're not, child."

"I am TOO!
(Wave arms about.)
HELP!
HELP!"

[AGGRAVATING SILENCE.]

"Thanks a LOT, Lord!
Just when I thought
my ship was FINALLY
coming in: You sent
me the TITANIC!"

[CHUCKLE.]

"HEY!
It's NOT FUNNY!"

"Then, why do you
say such things, child?"

"Eh.......to make everybody
LAUGH?"

[NOD.]

"SO?
So WHAT?
I think that's what You
do to EVERYBODY at SOME
time, Lord!"

[NOD.]
"Why, child?"

(Squint.)
"Why what?"

[PATIENT SILENCE.]

"Ya mean:
why d'Ya DO THAT?
(Hard thinking.)
(More squinting.)
Eh.....cuz, Ya like to
make us all SUFFER?"

"No."

"......cuz, You like
to see everybody fall
FLAT on their FACES?"

"Uh uh, child."

"......cuz, Ya gotta
give SATAN somethin'
to DO?"

"Oy vey, child!"

"WELL? You wouldn't
want him to get BORED,
Lord! Come ON! Let's
have a HEART!
(Thoughtful pause.)
HEY, LORD!
GUESS WHAT?
I made a RHYME!"

[PATIENT SILENCE OF A LOVING FATHER.]

(Sassy smile.)
"I thought that's what
JOB was about, Lord!
(Impatient silence.)
WASN'T it?"

"No, My child!"

"So, what WAS it
about, ANYWAY?
(Impatient grimmace.)
That, You just wanted
to give him some
MORE CAMELS?
After he LOST 'em ALL?"

[SMILE.]
"You know, child."

"No, I DON'T!"

"Yes, you do."

"Uh UH!"

[SMILE.]
"Tell Me, child."

"Eh......I forget what
we were talkin' about,
Lord.
(Glasses fall down nose.)
(Finish up Kosher hotdog.)
Oh, yeah: the Titanic.
(Sip rootbeer.)
Hey, LORD? How come
Ya couldn't 'a made me
look like KATE WINSLET?"

"Cuz, child."

"Yeah, that's a good reason.
Anyhow......yeah, so why DO
You send us the Titanic,
Lord? It's certainly not
so's we can all find a big
blue DIAMOND, THAT'S
for sure!"

[LAUGH!]
"No, My beloved."

(Kvetchy silence.)
(Burp.)

[PATIENT SILENCE.]
"Why, My child?"

"Eh........well.....it's
probably got somethin'
to do with lifeboats.
(Sip more rootbeer.)
Am I RIGHT, Lord?"

"Whose, child?"

"Eh.........yeah, but
on that ship, Lord:
there weren't ENOUGH!
So, what's the moral
of THAT story?
HUH?"

"Think, child."

"Eh.........wait a second, Lord.
(Get up to get some
pineapple flavored sherbet.)
Eh.......okay, I'm back.
WHAT, now?"

"The lifeboats, child;
the lifeboats."

"Oh, yeah.
(Frown.)
(Spoon some sherbet.)
I dunno, Lord.
I'm all confused."

[PATIENT PAUSE.]
"Why would I send
you the Titanic,
My beloved.?"

"Uh......
(Laugh!)
So, I can get the feel
of a real ICEBERG:
before they all MELT?"

[BURST OUT LAUGHING!]
"No, My child!"

"Eh.....hey, LORD?
WHAT'D Ya gonna do
about those POLAR BEARS?"

[SIGH.]
"Think, child!"

"Eh.....somethin' about
a LIFEBOAT?"

[SLOW NOD.]
"Whose, child?"

"MINE?"

[NOD.]
"And;
where is it,
child?"

(Point to the ceiling.)
"Up THERE, Lord?"

"No.
[PAUSE.]
Right Here."
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By the breath
of God
ice is given,
and the
broad waters
are frozen
fast.
[Job 37:10]

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