Faith

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For the Lord
your God
in the midst of you
is a Jealous God;
lest the anger
of the Lord
your God
be kindled against you,
and He
destroy you
from off the face
of the earth.
[Deuteronomy 6:15]
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"Hey, LORD?
Can You help me find my
GLASSES?"

[SILENCE.]

"Ya know; I don't understand
You, Lord."

"Why is that, My child."

"Well......Ya know, I went to
that Bible class the other night...."

"Yes, My beloved?"

"And, like, all they talked
about was sin, sin, and MORE
SIN!. And, how through You,
we get all these RICHES!

"What of it,
Mein kinder."

"Yeah, so?
What RICHES?
I asked You about an
hour ago, just to help
me find those reading
glasses I got, last night,
at HEB...."

"Yes, I heard you,
My precious."

"......and, Ya can't even
do THAT. Heck, I'm
not asking for RICHES,
just a pair of eleven
dollar GLASSES!"

[PATIENT SILENCE.]

"Well, I know that's
not a lot to You, Lord:
Ya know,
bein' a Spirit, and all."

"You're wrong, My precious."

"You mean, YOU have to
wear bifocals, TOO?"

[CHUCKLE.]

"Well....THAT'S weird.
(Thoughtful silence.)
(Turn the radio on;
hear something about
the Presidential candidates;
Instantly become bored.
Turn radio off.)
I would've thought You'd
be, Ya know: like, PERFECT,
and all."

"Who is your Lord,
My precious one?"

"Eh.....I'm not sure, Lord.
Everytime, I go to one
of these Christian Bible
studies, I get more
confused - and, somewhat
beligerent."

"About what, My precious?"

"About YOU!
I sorta liked my Image of You,
just the way You were, Lord:

MEAN!
NASTY!
WRATHFUL!
KINDLED EASILY!
VENGEFUL!
NOT NICE!
HORRIBLE!
BIG!
REAL ANGRY!
TERRIBLE!
MEAN!"

"You already said that one,
child."

"Yeah, but 'MEAN!''s
such a good word, Lord,
I gotta say it twice."

[SOLEMN NOD.]
"Ah, I see."

"Yeah, everytime I go to
these Christian get togethers,
most 'a the time, I just sit
there, and wonder:

'WHO the heck are
they TALKIN' about:
certainly not the
Old Testament God,
I know and LOVE?'

See what I mean, Lord?
Once in a while, I might
say somethin', but....."

"What happens, precious?"

"Eh......like, LAST week,
we were in the painful throes
of reading Your Isaiah. Oy
vey; do You think Ya could've
made it ANYMORE DISMAL,
Lord? Hey, don't answer that;
don't worry about it. Anyhow,
suddenly I piped up, and said:

'Don't you think that
God is really WARLIKE?
I mean, that's what
'Lord of Hosts' means,
anyway: Lord of Armies.'"

[PATIENT NOD.]
"Yes, child.
I was there.
Go on."

"Well.....they all looked at me,
like I had 2 heads. Then, our
teacher said something good,
Ya know, about You having to
be warlike with all the
evil that's in the world,
and then they
went on."

[SYMPATHETIC NOD.]

"See what I mean, Lord?
Everybody's got this
New Testament View of You,
and well, that just seems
ridiculous to me. It's like,
I know what You're REALLY
LIKE, and all the other guys
are just wearing rose-colored
GLASSES."

"Is that what you believe,
child?"

"Yeah.
(Look kvetchily up at air vent.)
Hey, speaking of rose colored
glasses, Ya know my new
reading glasses were rose
colored."

"Yes, My child."

"So.....I guess, You're not
gonna help me find 'em."

[SILENCE.]

(Sigh.)
"That's okay, Lord.
(Heavy sigh.)
My Christian friends would
probably just tell me You
were tryin' to teach me a lesson."

[SMILE!]
"Ah!
And, what do YOU think,
My beloved?"

"Who: ME?
Heck, Lord;
I'm JEWISH!
(Smile up at air vent.)
I think You're just bein' MEAN!"

[LAUGH!]

"If I believe in Jesus,
Lord, then maybe I would
say it's just a little 'a both,
huh?"

[PATIENT SILENCE.]

"Like I said, Lord....
it's okay. Don't worry
about it. What's eleven
DOLLARS, anyway:
a THIRD of a tank of GAS?
Don't worry about it;
I know Ya got more stuff
on Your mind.
It's okay."

[OY VEY.]

"WHAT was that, LORD?
I didn't HEAR YOU?"

"I love you,
child."

"I love You, TOO,
LORD! THAT'S OKAY!
MEAN'S GOOD, TOO!
Hey! I'll take MEAN,
ANY DAY!"

[OY VEY.]
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Truly, truly,
I say to you,
before Abraham was,
I am.
[John 8:58]

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