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The Home for Christian Writers! Matthew 6:33

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If I do make it to Heaven I'm gonna end up cleaning the latrines

by Julie Michaelson
03/27/08
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They will be gathered together
as prisoners in a pit;
they will be shut up in a prison,
and after many days
they will be punished.
[Isaiah 24:22]
************************
"LORD? Why don't Ya just
stick all the Bad Guys in
that Pit, right NOW?"

[SILENCE.]

"I'm SERIOUS, Lord!
What d'Ya WAITIN' for?"

[STERN LOOK.]
"In My Own Time, child."

"I'm sorry; I just don't
get it. There's Bad Guys
all over the place, right NOW!
What's gonna happen to THEM?"

"Me."

"Yeah, but that's gonna
be like, a 100 million years
from now, LORD! Who's
gonna CARE?"

"I will, My beloved."

"Yeah; I guess."

[SILENCE.]

(Silence.)

"So, what about all these
Oil Guys? What about THEM?"

"What is this about, My precious."

"Where have You BEEN,
Lord: on JUPITER?"

[PATIENCE OF A LOVING FATHER.]

"Gosh, Lord!
Gee WHIZ!
Have You taken a LOOK
at the gas pumps, LATELY?"

"Yes, My little one."

"WELL? Why don't Ya
stick all THOSE guys in
a PIT?
(Frown up at air conditioning
vent.)
What: there's not one,
BIG ENOUGH?"

"Child, WHO is the Lord?"

"Eh.............
You are, Lord."

"Hm, hm.
[LONG PAUSE.]
And, Who is in CONTROL?"

"Eh..........eh;
the oil MILLIONAIRES?"

[RUMBLE.]
[BIG RUMBLE.]

"Uh, I guess You are, Lord.
You are."

[STERN FROWN.]
"I didn't HEAR you, child!"

(Cup both hands to mouth,
and look up again at air vent.)
"YOU ARE, LORD!
YOU ARE!
YOU!
YOU ARE!"

[STERN NOD.]
"And, how often do I
want to hear that,
My child?"

"Eh........once a MONTH?
(Sassy smile.)
Every FORTNIGHT?"

[EVEN BIGGER RUMBLE.]

"Okay! Okay!
Eh......like, once a DAY?"

"Not enough, My beloved."

"Aw! Come on, Lord!
I gotta have SOME
time to clean the litter BOXES!"

[CHUCKLE.]
[LOVINGLY GAZE DOWN
ON PRECIOUS DAUGHTER.]
"HOW often, My beloved?"

(Aggravated sigh.)
"Okay. Okay!
Once every......HOUR?"

"Uh uh."

"On the HALF hour?"

"No."

"Every FIFTEEN minutes?"

[PATIENT SILENCE.]

"Cada cinco MINUTOS?"

"No; absolutamente!"

"What d'Ya WANT, Lord:
every time I BREATHE?"

[LONG NOD.]
"That is just the beginning,
My child.
Only the beginning."
**************************
Then the moon
will be confounded,
and the sun
ashamed.
For the Lord of Hosts
will reign
on Mount Zion
and
in Jerusalem...
[Isaiah 24:23]



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