Testimonies

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Woe is me!
For the Lord
has added
sorrow to my pain;
I am weary
with my groaning,
and I find no rest.
[Jeremiah 45:3]
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"This is how I feel,
right now, Lord."

"I know,
My child."

"SO?
Why don't Ya DO
somethin', ABOUT IT?"

[LONG SILENCE.]

"The Christians tell me
I gotta have this RELATIONSHIP
with You, LORD!"

[NOD.]

"This is all too difficult.
I DON'T LIKE it!
All You do is give me
pain and SORROW!
Sorrow and PAIN!"

"It seems so, My beloved."

"Uh UH, Lord!
It IS so!"

[PATIENT SILENCE.]

"Plus, it's all very TIRING!"

"What is that, My little one."

"This RELATIONSHIP stuff,
with You, LORD!
It's EXHAUSTING!"

[LOVING SMILE OF A DOTING FATHER.]

"I'm just not that smart,
is all. How am I supposed to
talk to, like.......
the MAKER
of the UNIVERSE?"

"You're doing fine,
My child."

"Well, yeah;
I'm a pretty good talker;
but, how do I know I'm not
making a FOOL outta MYSELF?"

[OMINOUS RUMBLE.]

"WHAT?
WHAT'S a'matter, NOW?
See what I MEAN?
How can you have a RELATIONSHIP,
with Somebody Who Rumbles
at you?"

[ANOTHER LOW RUMBLE.]
"I don't want your pride, child!"

"Well, LORD!
HEY!
(Turn face up at air conditioning vent.)
LISTEN!
(Shake puny, human fists in the air.)
Haven't I made ENOUGH
of a fool outta myself -
for ONE lifetime?"

"That doesn't matter
to Me,
My precious."

"HEY! SURE it DOES!
That's RIDICULOUS!
I never HEARD of such a thing!
NOBODY likes playing the fool,
LORD!"

[NOD.]
"Perhaps not."

"Gee, Lord!
You're really MEAN!"

"I love you,
My precious."

"Then, why do You TREAT
me, this WAY?"

"Because, My child
[PAUSE.]
better for you to be
a fool, now."

"HUH?"

[NOD.]
"Then,
for all Eternity."
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Thus says the Lord,
Behold,
what I have built
I am breaking down,
and what I have planted,
I am plucking up -
[Jeremiah 45:4]

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