Humor

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Snipe hunting made easy

Get burlap sack, wait until a new moon, find a log deep in the swamp, place the burlap sack over the end of the log and wait! And that, at least, is the story I was told as a young boy!

Two of my brother-in-laws lived near us at my hometown of Caesar, Mississippi. For weeks they had worked up my desire to a fever pitch to go snipe hunting, explaining to me that if I caught some baby snipes I could raise them and they would help me build a little pen for them stay in. Also if we catch more than we need we can give them to Uncle Columbus and Aunt Sally! They were my favorite Uncle and Aunt and my Brother-in-laws knew that they were. The night finally arrived for my initiation. I had my burlap sack, my boots on, and my Ole Miss baseball cap on and was getting ready to walk out the door when my mother rescued me. Later I learned why and was very thankful that she did.

My dad told me later that anyone who could be enticed into going snipe hunting was "dumber than a stump". Apparently I fit into that category because I was ready.

Fast-forward 60 years and the advent of the Wal-Mart bag!

My son-in-law is a Baptist minister and had taken a position at a Baptist Church at Columbia, Mississippi not far from where we live. They would come over frequently to visit, have supper, and just fellowship. Two of my grandsons were ardent hunters but had never lived out in the country and didn't know the ways of country humor hence two perfect victims. For weeks I had worked on their desire to go hunt snipes.

"As soon as we get a new moon, boys, me and you are going snipe hunting. I have already scoped out the woods back of the house and found two logs that snipes have been traveling over. We'll use these Wal-Mart bags because they are easier to tie. Now here is the way we do it-you kneel at the ends of the logs and hold these Wal-Mart bags so that when I run the snipes in your direction they will run over the logs and into the bags. If we catch some baby Snipes we'll build a cage to raise them in. Might even talk your Grandmother into cooking up a batch. They taste real good when fried real crispy."

The night for the hunt finally arrived and my two grandsons were in a fever pitch to get out into the woods. They had on their camouflage cloths, gloves, and their camouflage baseball caps pulled down over their ears. They were each squatting at the ends of their "snipe" log.

"Now boys, hold them bags real good cause when the snipes run in the bags you'll have to tie them up real fast". "I'm going around over there in the woods and start the snipes in your direction." "Good luck!"

At this point I went back to the house, got a cup of coffee, set in my easy chair and forgot about the boys down in the woods.

About an hour later I heard this voice from the kitchen-"Fred, have you forgot about the two snipe hunters".

"No, just want them to get a bait of it".

"You ought to be ashamed of yourself."

I figured an hour was enough time to give the boys something to remember about their ole grandpa. I eased back down in the woods to where I could hear the boys whispering-

"Josh, have you caught anything yet?"

"No, how about you?"

"Ain't even seen or heard a snipe."

"You know what-I think we have been left holding the bag!!"

The boys took it in good stride and even now, some 10 years later, mention the snipe hunting trip. The youngest is now married and has a fine baby girl. Brought her to see me a couple of days ago and brought along a gift-A t-shirt with this on the back "Good ole fashion Snipe Hunt taken nightly. No photo available. Hunts depart at midnight. Guaranteed to leave someone holding the bag."

I have two other grandsons who have been begging me to take them snipe hunting.

"Honey, we need to go to town today. I need to pick up a couple of Wal-Martbags."

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