Christian Living

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How do you handle your hurts?
By Chaplain Dan Langerock

Life can be perilous at times. We go through abuse of different kinds, slights from people, cutting words, and a myriad of others. How do you cope with what has been done to you in your life? Let’s explore a few responses and examine their consequences:

Ignore
Sometimes this can work for us and other times it doesn’t. What determines how it works in our lives is how we feel about the person or situation afterward. Is ignoring what happened just another way of storing up bitterness? If so, then this is not the right answer for you.

Anger
The answer here also depends upon what happens later. Do you get angry and let it go or do you hold onto it for the rest of your life? It is a normal reaction to become angry, but what makes it wrong is how you deal with the aftermath.

Telling about it
You’ve been hurt by someone then you tell everyone you know about it. This rehearsal is not only bad for you but for others to hear. You are causing others to think ill of the person by doing this and spreading it around to possibly get people “on your side”. This makes it even harder to heal the rift between you, because so many others know about it. If you allow the incident to simmer in your mind, this may cause it to be retold years later, further eroding your quality of life. .

If you cannot let go of the situation, you should seek counsling from your clergyperson or a therapist. If you choose this option, don’t let it continue for a long time, but set a limit. If you are really serious about getting help, you will want to take as little time as possible to correct it.

Revenge
Like telling others, revenge will only make the hurt worse. It is like a tidal wave gathering more and more water to itself as it comes toward shore, wreaking destruction in its path. Is this what you want for the rest of your life?

Forgive
Forgiveness is the hardest option. We feel like the person is getting away with something if we don’t do something about it. If you can forgive the person, it will help you to heal and have positive effects upon your health. If you are always storing up hurts as you go through life, eventually you will reap the consequences in your relationships, physical and emotional health and many other areas.

Even if the person doesn’t acknowledge your forgiveness, you have done your part of the equation. When the subject comes up in your mind or in conversation, ask God to help you overcome this hurt. Some are just too deep to be able to be healed without His help, especially when reminders are constantly happening. If you will trust Him in this area of your life, He will help you.

Hurts are bound to happen in all our lives, but how we respond will determine the quality of our lives afterward. The question you must ask when this happens is this: “Am I going to allow this person, circumstance, or situation to ruin the rest of my life?” If your answer is “No” , then you must forgive. It may not be easy but it will help you and others the rest of your life instead of carrying around “baggage” .

It may have been a horrible circumstance that happened to you. No one is doubting the severity of what you went through. But you must decide whether you will ruin your life and possibly others, by how you respond. May God be with you as you make your choice.

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