Testimonies

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(Author's note: 'tsoris'
is Yiddish for very bad,
very sad trouble.)
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Therefore,
if any one is in Christ,
he is a new creation;
the old has passed away,
behold,
the new has come.
[2 Corinthians 5:17]
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"Lord, why didn't Paul
give this letter a new
TITLE?"

"What, child?"

"This second letter to the
Corinthians: I would have
made up a new title. It's
just not very imaginative."

"Who Wrote Scripture,
child?"

"Eh......well, a lot of people, Lord.
To be honest, King David was
the best writer.
(thoughtful silence)
John was a good writer, too.
(silence)
Well, the first part of the
First Chapter is really
beautiful; but, I'm not
sure who wrote that."

"Which Chapter, My beloved?"

"GENESIS. The first couple
pages are really pretty;
then, it's all kinda' down hill,
from there. Like I told
'Ya before, You should've
just stopped at the 5th day:
when all the animals
were made. I'm not sure;
maybe, it was the end
of the 6th day."

[PATIENT NOD.]

"ANYHOW; did YOU give
him - Paul - the TITLE?"

[NOD.]

"Well......I guess You had a
reason, Lord. But...."

"Yes, child.
I did."

"Okay, Lord.
I'm just sayin', if it had
been ME, I would've
made up another title,
is all."

[PATIENT SMILE.]

"By the way, Lord,
which was the last animal
You made?"

"It is a Mystery, My precious."

"According to Chapter 1,
it was crawling things.
Here:

And to every beast of the earth,
and to every bird of the air,
and to everything that creeps
on the earth,
everything that has the breath
of life,
I have given every green plant
for food.
And it was so.
[Genesis 1:30]

So, what was it Lord:
the GECKO?"

[LAUGH.]

"They're really cute, Lord.
Where would that insurance
company be, without YOU?"

[PATIENT SMILE.]

"Anyhow, I just had a complaint
about this Part: Second Corinthians,
Lord. I don't feel NEW, at ALL."

[PATIENT SILENCE]

"In fact, I feel pretty wrung out,
Lord. To be honest, when I was
just plain Jewish -
like the bagel without any raisins -
I felt a whole lot NEWER."

"I understand, child.
But, it's not about that,
is it?"

(thoughtful silence)
"I DON'T know.
The last few years have been
a whole lotta' tsoris, Lord.
I guess......."

"Tell Me, precious."

"Maybe, that's why......"

"Yes?"

"I came looking....."

[PATIENT SILENCE.]

"....For You."

[NOD.]
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We are afflicted
in every way,
but not crushed;
perplexed,
but not driven to despair;
persecuted,
but not forsaken;
struck down,
but not destroyed....
[2 Corinthians 4:8-9]

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