Gospel

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"I've looked everywhere, Lord!
I can't FIND it!"

"Find what, child?"

"You know: that verse about
casting the first STONE!"

"Where have you looked, child?"

"Huh? Well, I've looked under
'cast','stone', 'sin', 'without',
'writing', 'sand', 'Pharisee',
'prostitution'...."

[NOD.]
"Look again, child."

"Well, where the.....uh,
heck, is It?"

[PATIENT SILENCE.]
"Look, My child."

"It's not IN Here, Lord!"

"Look."

"I AM, LORD!"

[SILENCE.]

"I'm even lookin' at all
the RED Parts!"

[NOD.]

"'STILL can't find It.
Anyhow.....what I was
arguing with You about..."

[PATIENT NOD.]
"Go on, My beloved."

"It's horrible: disgusting!"

[SILENCE.]

"Absolutely nauseating.
I don't think there's
a jail term long enough...."

"Who are you judging, child?"

"You know, Lord: what
I just saw in the news... about
those tortured DOGS."

[NOD.]

"SO? What are 'Ya gonna'
DO about ...........
HEY! LORD! GUESS WHAT?"

"What, My beloved."

"I FOUND IT!
HEY, I FOUND IT:

The Pharisee and scribes
brought Him a woman who
had been caught in adultery,
and placing her in the midst.....
[John 8:3]

I FOUND It, Lord!"

"But, have you learned
from It, My precious?"

"Uh, uh.
I think there's a difference."

"Why, My child?"

"'Cuz."

"Tell Me, child."

"'Cuz, Lord; I think
there's the SLARMEY stuff,
and then there's the real
BAD stuff."

"What stuff is that, child."

"Huh?
Well, You call it SIN, Lord.
But, Lord........'Ya know,
it's different when innocent
little creatures
are involved: it's just...
........DIFFERENT. And,
everybody knows it."

"Not to Me, child."

"WELL! It SHOULD!"

"No, My beloved."

"But.....!"

"I said no."

"Well.....I'm sorry, Lord,
but I beg to differ."

[PATIENT SILENCE.]

"You don't UNDERSTAND, Lord!
You're a SPIRIT!
You don't live in the real WORLD!
Heaven's a lot different from
DOWN here!"

"With Whom are you speaking, child?"

"YOU, LORD!
But, You know what I MEAN!
It's DIFFERENT!"

"Not to Me, child."

"Well, we'll just have 'ta
agree to disagree,
and that's IT."

"Child, WHOM do
you think you're
speaking to?"

(Oops.)
(Oy.)
"Uh, uh......."

"Yes? I'm listening."

"Eh, YOU know, Lord."

[MORE PATIENT SILENCE.]

"Eh, You know:
the One they wrote the
Book about."

"Go on, My precious."

"Uh........You know, Lord:
the One Who's gonna'
come back, soon?"

"When, My precious?"

"Uh, they don't say, Lord.
I'm not sure."

[NOD.]
"Why, child?"

"Eh, 'cuz, I'm not
good at MATH?"

[INFINITE PATIENT SILENCE]

"Eh......'cuz, I never
finished that 'Left Behind'
book?"

[SMILE.]
"You know, My beloved."

"'Cuz, I'm not even
good at the predicting the
weather......and, I live
in SAN ANTONIO?"

"No, My precious."

"Eh, because I'm human
and....."

"And what, child?"

"Eh, and......eh,
You're the LORD?"

[NOD.]
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Teacher, this woman has been
caught in the act.....
What do You say about her?.....
Jesus bent down and wrote
with His finger on the ground....
And as they continued to ask Him,
He stood up and said....
Let him who is without sin
among you
be the first to throw a stone at her.
[John 8:4-7]

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