Humor

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Year after year, everybody seems to enjoy Thanksgiving Day. It is a wonderful time of gathering together with family and friends around a table laden with all kinds of goodies imaginable. Of course, if you have been at my aunt Eloise’s Thanksgiving table, there would be a few things that would defy all human imagination. Nobody asked Aunt Eloise what a particular item on the table was for the simple reason she would tell us. When eating at her table, ignorance was always the better part of valor.

Thanksgiving is the one day of the year when the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage permits Yours Truly to lay aside a carefully monitored diet regimen. This in itself is cause for Thanksgiving. I will not say I take advantage of this. I do. I just will not say it in print.

On Thanksgiving Day, everybody tries to think of things they are thankful for. Often we overlook those little things during the year that have made our lives bearable. It is not hard to identify those big things that we are thankful for like health, family, a good job (or any job at all) and a house with a mortgage up to date.

However, we should truly be thankful for the little things. For example, when was the last time you were thankful for a nice breath of air? Maybe you are like me (which is a terrible thing to assume), but when was the last time you were thankful that you could breathe?

There was a month this past year when I saw how much my property taxes increased and believe me, it took my breath away. I am still a little breathless about that. Of course, my favorite politician Senator Ivan Gotchya assured me that he would look into it. I am breathlessly awaiting his reply.

I do remember my last medical checkup with my physician, Dr. Bill M. Again. He forgets everything but sending me a bill. In fact, there have been times that he has sent the same bill to me three times. At my last check-up, he was checking my lungs and said to me, “Now, hold your breath as long as you can while I check your lungs.”

To this day, I am not sure if he forgot to tell me to breathe or I just did not hear him, but when I came to, the good doctor said to me, “Take two aspirin and call me in the morning.”

Several days prior to Thanksgiving I was loitering in the kitchen when out of my left ear I heard my wife say, “Did you find that box of cookies I was saving for Thanksgiving and eat them?”

I held my breath. I knew I did not eat them because I did not know they were there. Usually, I have a pretty good nose when it comes to hidden cookies in the kitchen area. I do not mind being blamed for eating cookies but I do mind being blamed for eating cookies when I did not in fact eat those cookies or even knew they existed. I need to go to the doctor and get my nose checked.

I did breathe easier when she finally confessed, “Oh, I remember now. I used those cookies at the last church supper.”

I was tempted to remonstrate her for falsely accusing me of a dastardly crime. However, since I was breathing easier at the time, I decided to let the matter drop.

This brings me to another small item to be thankful for, allowing small matters like this to drop even when you are in the right. I must confess it is a rare day in our house when I am right like this.

Looking back over the past year I noticed that it is always the small matters that create the tension in my relationship with my wife. Large matters seem to draw people together while small things seem to drive them apart.

The small matters in our house include: “Who ate the cookies?” “Who forgot to refill the ice cube tray?” “Who threw their socks under the bed?”

The prevailing assumption at our house is that the “who,” in all of these little things points to me. Just once, I would like to be accused of doing something big like accidentally burning down the house.

With all of these little bits of evidence around our house it seems to me somebody is deliberately doing this trying to get me into trouble with you know who. If I did all the things I am accused of doing around our house I would get nothing else done.

I am thankful, however, that I am big enough to allow these small things go by the wayside.

If I paid attention to all of these little things, I would be in big trouble.

Being thankful is a crucial aspect of living the Christian life.

“Now thanks be unto God, which always causeth us to triumph in Christ, and maketh manifest the savour of his knowledge by us in every place.” (2 Corinthians 2:14 KJV).

“Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.” (Philippians 4:6 KJV).

If I am careful about the little things, the big things do not seem so overwhelming – which helps create a spirit of thankfulness.

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