Christian Living

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Larry Lilly's Letter Monday September 10, 2007

The Lord is good to me in ways to numerous to mention, though I do offer especial thanks for the way He is letting those who love Meatloaf fade away, not suddenly, and thankfully not ever so slowly, but just right. As I travel around the country according to my notes churches that believe the Bible is the literal word of God seldom offer Meatloaf. Ones that waffle on inspiration are more prone to attempt to explain the many benefits of the said dish. I am glad that though the letters are near invisible Meatloaf has written across it in red (Ketchup) letters, "This too shall pass." This a good thing and testimony to the overall goodness of the Lord Christ.

My recent subject has been on "hope" and one of my fondest hopes is that sometime during the span of my earthly sojourn children, if they hear the word "Meatloaf" will ask in the wonder of innocence, "What was that?" and the mother will answer in a jubilant tone, "A terrible travesty against man and beast." Bags of mail came forth and a group of outstanding younger Christian women suggested that I should become the President of People United Against Meatloaf. I am considering my options and may announce on the Leno show. In researching this I did learn that Hillary Clinton considers Meatloaf a gourmet food. May God help us if she is elected. My research shows that no sitting president of the USA has ever permitted Meatloaf to be served in the White House. Even Harry Truman knew better than to offer such to guests fearing the wrath of Bess.

The volatile nature of Meatloaf, as with all things religious often divides families, mother against daughter, daughter against father, sister against sister. It makes the War of Northern Aggression appear as a mere barroom brawl by comparison.

One girl wrote and suggested the People United Against Meatloaf should be led by her father, a gifted preacher and former college president with yours truly serving as vice president. I inquired as to the intensity of his dislike for Meatloaf and she assured me that her father, a giant in the Christian faith utterly detests Meatloaf. I still thought it would be better if I were president, so that is in the negotiating stage.

No sooner was the above sent when a missile from the younger sister arrived asserting that she had told her mother about the Meatloaf letters and if I did not stop this Visigoth attempt on Meatloaf she would cease permitting her daughters to speak to me. Now the surprising thing abut this is, were you to meet this mother you would think that you are meeting a charming, erudite, committed Christian lady. Her true nature surfaces though when good Christians even talk of uniting for the abolition of Meatloaf. You just never know, but I take comfort in her husband and intelligent daughter standing against this plague which is blighting the culinary progress of the American people. How it ever got into church circles is beyond me.

At this time I know of no other American Pastor who is willing to lead the charge against this Meatloaf Blight on the reputation of all Christendom. Please pray and send as much money to me today as you can beg, borrow or steal as it seems a few men and girls are all that is left in this monumental fight for the survival of a Meatloaf Free Kingdom of Christ.

Am I making fun? Certainly. And fighting the spread of Meatloaf is about as worthy as the bulk of requests which will flood my mail this week. Love Jesus, serve Him, give to His just cause, but do not check your brain.

Larry Lilly Copyright © 2007 Use with credit.

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