Bible Studies

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For the Lord said to Moses,
Say to the people of Israel,
You are a stiff-necked people;
if for a single moment I
should up among you,
I would consume you!
So, now put off your ornaments
from you,
that I may know what to do
with you!"
[Exodus 33:4-5]
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"Hey, Lord.
I almost ran out of toilet
paper, this morning."

"Yes, child."

"That got me to thinking......"

"'Bout what."

"What did those guys do
wandering around in the desert?"

"Mostly complain, child."

"Well, YEAH.
But, Lord............You would
too, if You didn't have toilet
paper for forty years."

[LAUGH.]

"REALLY, LORD!
WHAT DID THOSE
GUYS DO?"

[LAUGH]
"They did what they
always did, child."

"Well, You know, Lord;
that can be pretty
rough - so to speak -
not having no toilet paper
for forty years.
(smile)
No wonder they turned
to that golden calf......"

[RUMBLE.]

"Oops! Sorry!
But, honestly, Lord,
maybe that's why
they were forced to
do it."

"Do what, child?"

"Ya' know: dance around
that golden calf, like they
did in "The Ten Commandments"."

"It wasn't like that."

"Uh, uh, Lord!
That movie was pretty realistic."

[LAUGH.]

"I bet Moses was as handsome
and muscular as - eh, oy -
I'm gettin' old........as -
isn't his name in the Old Testament?"

"No."

"Eh.......oy, I haven't had
any breakfast yet; that's it.
WHAT's his name?
(silence)
CHARLTON HESTON!"

[NOD.]

"Boy, Lord; I'm really gettin' old.
Anyhow - so what DID these
guys DO?
(hopeful silence)
I mean about the toilet paper?"

[LAUGH]
"They did what they always did."

"What: use those big leaves?
But, Lord, they were out in
the middle of the desert!
What did You do: send down
a bunch of TP every morning
with the mana? That's
what You should have done!"

[LAUGH]

"Hey, and I know: whenever
they were bad - like most of
the time - You didn't send
down any toilet paper,
the next morning......huh?"

[SMILE]

"THAT would have been
tough punishment, enough,
Lord. You know?"

"I agree."

"We'll have to continue this
discussion later, Lord."

[NOD]

"I have to go to that sheister
of a dentist."

"That's not a nice word, child."

"Well, yeah, Lord.
But, it's a true one!"

"Oy gah veld, child.
What am I going to do with you?"

(smile)
*******************************
Go down;
for your people whom you brought
out of the land of Egypt,
have corrupted themselves;
they have.....made for themselves
a molten calf.......
I have seen this people,
and behold, it is a stiff-necked
people;
now therefore let Me alone,
that My Wrath may burn
hot against them and I may
consume them.........
[Exodus 32:7-10]

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