Poetry

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Awareness

I just want you to know,
I’m never doing this again.
You know that sin,
that always seems to cause a fall.
I’ve tried it all.
I want to stop.
It’s not my fault.
You made me like this.

I can’t do this anymore.
I can’t walk through that door.
I’ve been here many times.
The many lies.
My heart says go.
Your words say stay,
Stay, in my will.

It’s a losing battle.
I’m stuck with this saddle.
It’s so very heavy.
Can’t you see this levy?
I can’t get free,
At all to be,
What you’ve called me.

I feel insane.
My hearts inflamed.
I want to blame
Someone for this
Deep pain inside.
I’ve much obliged
My flesh.

I look to the hills.
I admit that it feels
Like it’s been a million years,
Since you answered my prayers
Or change my affairs,
To my liking.
I’m impatient.

Victory's so far away.
I hope and I pray,
That I can endure
‘til the end of this test.
I must confess.
I’m in need of rest.

Please hear my cry.
Don’t pass me by.
I’m your beloved
Made from above.
I need you now,
I don’t know how,
I'll make it.

You are my rock.
You are my strength.
My life’s been spent.
My heart laments.
The time I’ve wasted,
The things I’ve tasted,
Doing my will.

You said to me,
Come taste and see
That I am good.
Sufficient food.
I’m all you need,
To survive and fight
The rest of this night.

You fill my cup.
It overflows.
And now I know,
You love me so.
I won’t give in.
You called me friend.
I love you.
© Thelma P. Jackson

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