Bible Studies

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And the Lord came and stood
forth, calling as at other times,
'Samuel! Samuel!'
And Samuel said,
Speak, for thy servant hears.
[1 Samuel 4:10]
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"LORD! How come I haven't heard
from You, about my question?
WELL? WHY NOT?"

[SILENCE.]

"You know, I don't like this line
of communication I have with
You: it's very iffy."

[SILENCE.]

"I mean, sometimes I think I
CAN hear You really tell me
things, but most of the time....."

"Yes?"

"I don't know, Lord. Maybe
the cell company You're using
doesn't have good service."

"Ah. I see, child."

"Well, none of them are that
good. They're all sheisters,
and......."

"Child, I do not need a phone."

"Well, that's good because it's
ridiculous. They charge you for
just BREATHING on it, plus....."

"You are frustrated, and
a little angry."

"Well, yeah! Who wouldn't?
Do You know what it's like
opening that thin, white envelope
every month? Honestly....."

"You are frustrated with Me, child."

"Oh. Uh, yeah. I guess, a little.
I mean I thought this Christian
thing meant, You know, having
some sort of open line of ......."

"What Christian thing is that, child?"

"What? Oh. well, You know what
I mean, Lord. I thought that Jesus
would speak to us, and we would
speak to Him, and could ask Him
all sorts of questions."

"Yes?"

"Well. Then, I guess He would
go and ask YOU, Lord. Is that how
it works? I'm not really sure where
the Holy Spirit comes in. Maybe,
that's only for Christians, and not
one of the scruffier members of
Your scattered remnant."

[SMILE.]

"Well? Has Lord Jesus come to
You with my question? How long
does it TAKE, anyhow? I posed it
to Him, about 2 o'clock YESTERDAY!
Then, I asked Him, AGAIN, late last
night, and then.........."

"Child, I am not an answering service."

(Shameful silence - but, only for a
moment)
"Aw! Come on, LORD! You know I
needed an answer, really, EARLY this
morning!"

"You were asleep early this morning,
My precious."

"Well? You could have woken me up,
for a moment, Lord! I would have
sat up - You know, the way that
kid Samuel did, when You spoke to
Him about, eh......about whatever
that stuff was."

"Tell Me what it was, My child."

"Huh? Oh, It had something to do
with You punishing Israel, again.
But, first You were going to punish
Eli's family for being blasphemous
about something. There was all
this punishing going on......wow, Lord!
You really smote that Philistine
god - what was his name - dogon?"

"Dagon, precious. DAGON."

"Yeah! That story reminded me
of one of the earlier Indiana Jones'
movies, especially this part:

And He slew some of the men
of Bethshemesh,
because they looked into the
Ark of the Lord.
[1 Samuel 6:19]

Remember, Lord? Indiana Jones
and that girl were all tied up on
top of that mountain, and the
German guys had opened the
Ark, and then, all of a sudden
these nasty spirits came out
and melted, and
devoured their faces?
Harrison Ford kept yelling at
the girl, "Cover your eyes!
Cover your eyes!" Don't look!"
And, then, at the end of the
movie, the Ark ended up in
the basement, carted in a huge,
unlabled box, among hundreds
and hundreds of other boxes?
Ew......that was spooky, Lord!"

"Yes, My beloved."

"Hey, Lord? Where is the Ark, now?"

[SILENCE.]

"Don't worry. I don't want to know.
Anyhow, I forget what I was kvetching
about, Lord."

"Your anger over My not answering
all of your questions."

"Oh. Oh, yeah. Well, eh........
You know, Lord, after reading that
story, I would REALLY like to point
out how unangry I was, and how
it was more like.......affectionate teasing."

"You were angry with Me, child."

"If but for a moment, Lord! It's
all PASSED! I can't even remember
what it WAS!"

"It was about whether you should go
to the dentist, or not."

"Okay, okay! I remember, Lord.
It was really stupid, wasn't it?"

"And, what have you decided,
My precious?"

"Eh.....I don't know. I'll see.....
I still HAVEN'T gotten a,
eh, a straight answer from You,
Lord."

"No."

(Silence.)
"Sometimes, You can very
exasperating, Lord.
Infuriating, and confounding,
and frustrating......but, LOVABLE!"

[SMILE.]
"Get some rest, child."

"I will, Lord.
(silence)
DAGON. Huh, Lord?"

"Dagon."
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....the Philistines captured the Ark of God,
they carried it from Ebenezer to Ashdod;
then the Philistines took the Ark of God
and brought it into the house of Dagon
and set it up beside Dagon.
And when the people of Ashdod
rose early the next day,
behold, Dagon had fallen face
downward on the ground before
the Ark of the Lord.
[1 Samuel 5:1-4]

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