Kids & Parenting

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Dearest friend, and Fellow father

Have you ever wondered what happened to that beautiful little girl or boy, that wonderful gift from heaven who, for the most part, listened and obeyed you? There were the times you had to punish them, but they quickly changed their attitudes and transformed into little angels.

But once they enter puberty, and in many cases a year before, it would seem that they do all they can to try our patience and compete with our knowledge and experience. I vaguely remember that I did the same thing when I was passing through puberty. My father now confirms that, “Yes”, in fact I was all there was to be in an adolescent.

What happened? Where did the little angel go? Who or what is living in the body of my child?

Take comfort in the fact that this stage will pass. They will not always be difficult. Remember God’s promise in Proverbs 22:6, “Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it.” We, as parents, are in the “training” stage. In fact, I would equate this stage with that of baby birds when they are learning to fly. Some want to stay in the nest, refusing to take that next step, while others are desperate to jump before they are ready.

Our kids are shedding their baby feathers and becoming self-aware. That means they are being faced with decisions that can make a lasting impact on their lives. In school and among their friends they are noticing that their ideas and opinions do make a difference, and can influence the lives and decisions of others. The desire to fit it and be normal struggles with the desire to be unique and special which can lead to being a rebel at home, at school, in church and even among their peers. They no longer accept our authority (parent’s, teachers, or church’s) without question, but now they consider their options and question the source of the authority.

That is why we, as parents, must hold fast to our authority in Christ and the Word of God. Only in this way will we be able to withstand this wave or storm. It is imperative to rememebr that we are forgiven and a new creature in Christ. We mustn't let our children bring us down by reminding of our past faults or shortcomings.

Are you ready?

As we are subject to this stage there are a few things that we must hold fast to that will help us through to the other side.

1. Our past is the past and is no more. You have no doubt been witness to your angel’s ability to bring up a past event where you were less than perfect. At times they use our past shortcomings it to fight back, sometimes to justify their own acts, and other times to incite us to walk in the flesh and respond in like fashion. In Christ Jesus we have been forgiven, and that is all that matters. As far as Jesus is concerned He nailed our past and all our shortcomings to the cross. They have been forgiven and washed clean. It is as if it never existed. Do not let your precious child cause you to forget Jesus’ love for you.

2. The authority you have is not arbitrary. In other words, you didn’t make up the house rules. The rules are a reflection of the Word of God. As you and I are people under authority so our children are under our authority. When they say things like “that’s not fair,” go to the scriptures that you have used to formulate the house rules, and show them that it is not a parent vs. child thing, but a Word of God thing –period-.

3. Your lovely child is not demon-possessed, and has not lost his or her salvation. But during this time our adversary takes advantage of the biological & hormonal changes in their bodies and attempts to influence their thoughts. In these cases, they are under attack but they simply don’t recognize it. It falls on us to see the devil’s trickery and help our children resist the devil so he flees from them. Remember that our battle is not against flesh or blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. (Ephesians 6:12 NIV)

4. This is not a competition. We are the adults–they are the growing children. It is too easy to fall into the trap of comparing and competing with them. This is a great big, gigantic mistake. DO NOT DO IT.

5. It is good for them to question and compare. I realize that it isn’t always comfortable, but it is necessary. We don’t want to educate our children to simply accept ideas and thoughts because they sound good, or our words sound controlling. But this is where we must make emphasis on using the correct baseline. The Word of God. During this time we must help our children turn away from the desire to compare all things to experience, and show them that we must use the Word of God, which is the only constant and correct parental guide we need.

6. Finally, here is the last point that will take you to the other side in victory: If you blow it, if you get into competition with them, if you start to argue and insult them or do anything that you wouldn’t normally do, ask forgiveness. Go to God first and then go to them and ask forgiveness. And this part is very crucial: Do it immediately and do it as publicly as you did when you crossed the line. If it was in front of a friend then that is where you must ask forgiveness. If it was in front of your spouse, in the mall, or at the grocery store, it does not matter, that is where you must humble yourself and ask forgiveness.

This is an exciting time in your life and in the life of your child. And soon you will see the wonderful fruits of your labors. Praise God we can do all things through Him who strengthens us! (Phil. 4:13)

Your Fellow Father
Gabriel

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