Poetry
Awaken O' Flower
from slumber so deep.
The winter has left you,
the cold wind has ceased.
Arise from your coffin
of soil and ice.
Bring forth your fragrance
of springtime's new life.
Stretch out your petals
and reach for the sun.
It's rays of life greet you
and bid you to come.
Offer your beauty
the way only you fashion.
So striking and brilliant
the colors of passion.
Hear now the song,
of natures lull-a-bye
It's symphony welcomes
the dawn of new life.
Sprinkle your essence
upon this new day
and dance in the arms
of the breezes at play.
Cherish each moment
from whence you first grew.
Treasure the beauty
created for you.
But do not forget,
Springtime too shall pass
Soon Summer arrives,
Fall and Winter alas.
Awaken O' Flower
arise from your grave.
For time has no friendship
and we are it's slave.
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Unless you are in the Southern Hemisphere, the timing of this poem is odd; but that is neither good nor bad in relation to the work itself; I just note the irony of reading this as snow threatens to grace my local skies.
As for the poem itself, my humble thoughts are within the text of the verse below:
Awaken O' Flower
from slumber so deep.
The winter has left you,
the cold wind has ceased.
[The meter/rhythm is very good thus far; the rhyme is a bit slanted, but not awkward.]
Arise from your coffin
of soil and ice.
Bring forth now your fragrance
of springtime's new life.
[Move "fragrance" up to the end of line three. Again, the rhyme is quite slanted, and this time is more awkward. Since the rhyme is the means of delivering the impact of your thought, I'd suggest being a little truer with the rhymes.]
[Stretch out] your petals
and reach for the sun
It's rays of life great [I think you mean "greet" here] you
and offer you warmth.
[Now the rhyme is completely gone. This needs attention.]
Sprinkle your essence
upon this new day
[and]dance in the arms
of the breezes at play.
[Aside from the misplaced "and" at the end of line two, you nailed this stanza.]
There is a good start here, Maria; a little elbow grease and it can be quite nice. I don't think it is quite long enough, however; there is a real feeling of incompleteness to the story of this flower. Why is it important for this flower to heed your admonition? What will its obedience/ignoring to your words do you you/me, the reader/observer? I feel like I'm watching a movie and the film breaks 30 minutes into the show. I don't know where you wanted to take me, nor what I am supposed to feel about what happens.
Just some thoughts. Don't give up on this one; there's something to work with here.
Doug