Christian Living

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Larry Lilly's Letter Tuesday November 14, 2006

The articles on 'Friends' will soon cease and they will then be recycled and made into a book on the subject, perhaps a best seller! (Mom's thought).

I have searched the bulk of English literature in hopes of finding just the right phrase to encapsulate the essence of friendship. Of course I have failed, for even the Bible uses many verses to teach the concepts of true friendship. So I face the flaws in the quest and shine the light of many minds and hearts on the subject. It’s been a grand trip for me and I think I am a better friend than when I first put pen to paper, though it has been years since I actually put pen to paper, I now put little black marks on a computer screen.

Sebastian Roch Nicolas Chamfort wrote:

"We have three kinds of friends: those who love us, those who are indifferent to us, and those who hate us."

I feel certain that many will write to assure me that the truest and best of all friendships are reciprocal. I absolutely agree. But. But many things in life, including the choice to be friends with someone who is not always the truest and best are not easy, nor are they text book cases. I recall that a man asked me about another man. I told him that I held him in high esteem. He immediately told me the man said many disparaging things about me. I replied, 'Sir, you did not ask me his opinion of me, but mine of him.'

Sometimes the Lord wants us to remain friends with folks who are seemingly ignorant of the higher order of things including friendships. Remaining friends for many years, perhaps all of life with those who love us is a piece of cake. Remaining friends with those who are cold, even indifferent requires a little more grace. No matter what token of friendship you offer it is met with little or no positive response. Keep in mind God may have put you into this person's life for you to be the friend who walks in when the world walks out on them! And walk out it will, for it does so in everyone's life at some point.

And then the toughest test you will ever be called to win is the phenomenon of remaining a friend to someone who demonstrates his or her hatred for you.

One friend advises that you should never hire a friend. I have often ignored this advice and made it plain that while I am your friend, this job depends on your best performance and please do not mistake my friendship for weakness, for I am a good enough friend to dismiss you if you do not perform. I will not permit you to learn to hate yourself. For a true friend will not permit a friend to be tormented with the knowledge that his/her performance is less than the best of which he/her is capable. A few folks who have been dismissed over the years consider themselves my friends. Others hate me with a passion, yet I feel certain that God has put me into their life for a purpose and I refuse to return hatred for hatred.

Today's principle is easy to write about. Test your spiritual mettle and give living it a try!

Larry Lilly Copyright © 2006 Use with Credit.

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