Family

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My Big Brother

This morning I woke up with an uneasy feeling in my spirit. I didn’t know if it was a dream I couldn‘t remember, or what. But my brother was on my mind. I felt like he was in trouble or needed someone to talk to, or just needed to know Jesus loves him and I love him! But, it was 5:30 in the morning, I didn‘t want to call that early for fear I would wake them. I tried to shake off the feeling. I did my Bible study and had prayer time with God. As I was praying, the Holy Spirit almost urgently told me to call my brother. So I did.

Jerry grew up in the same household as I did, I remember when he was saved and baptized. But I knew that most of his adult life, like me, he had not been living for Jesus. My uncle said recently he was worried about him because he thought Jerry was working way too many hours and drinking too much. Said he was drinking every day now. My uncle lives next door so keeps tabs on him. My Dad died very early in life of a massive heart attack. He used to work sometimes 16 hours a day. Jerry had been doing the same thing. But Dad never drank so we are even more worried that Jerry is cutting his life short by his lifestyle.

Jerry is two years older than me and the only boy. He is not very close with the rest of the family or even Mama anymore, who is semi-invalid now. He used to at least call her every so often but hardly ever does that anymore. Mom says it’s because of Janie (his wife) but I am not so sure. I think he is just too busy. I also think he has issues in the heart that need to be dealt with which makes him withdraw from close relationships. We usually all gather at Mom’s for special occasions and holidays but Jerry and Janie rarely come.

Sometimes we go a year or two without seeing him and I miss him. When we were young, I remember trying to follow him and his friends around. I was a little bit of a tomboy and wanted to do everything they did. One time they took Daddy’s ladder and climbed on top the tool shed and was doing the Tarzan yell, beating their chests.. I just had to do it too! Then he and his friend, George climbed down, took the ladder away and told me I had to jump if I wanted down. (He was sometimes a little mean to me). I wanted to cry but wouldn’t dare give them the satisfaction of seeing that. So I jumped! Landed face and belly down on the ground and it knocked the breath out of me. Boy, did that hurt! But, no broken bones, thank God! You can bet my big brother got his hyde tanned when Daddy got home that evening! Another time he probably saved my life when I darted out into the street without looking. He grabbed me just before the screeching car stopped about three inches from my face.

And I will never forget when Mama and Daddy divorced. I was eleven and he was thirteen. We were all devastated but he was the strong one who comforted me and told me how everything would be alright. He’s always been the strong one, never sharing his feelings, just locking everything away inside…..

He is my big brother. I love him and I know he needs to come home to Jesus.

When I got him on the phone this morning I said:

“I hope I didn’t wake y’all. I just called to tell you I love you and I miss you.”

“What’s wrong? He gasped.

“Nothing’s wrong. I just woke up with you on my mind. Just wanted to invite y’all for Thanksgiving dinner, too. Sure would love to see ya and I know Mama would too.”

“Well, I don’t know…I may have to work.”

“Well Bub, try to make it, ok?”

“Ok I’ll see.”

“Oh, and Jerry? One more thing: Softy and Tenderly.”

“Huh?”

“Just remember those words to that old hymn. I love you, Bye.”

“Love you too, Bye.”

Mama called me later that day and sounded so excited:

“Guess who called me today! Your brother! He sounded different. He said you called him at 5:30 this morning. He was worried something was wrong. What did you say to him?”

“I just told him I love him, I miss him, and to remember the words to Softly and Tenderly.”

“Well, praise God! I think you must have hit a nerve. He sure sounded different. Said they might even come up for Thanksgiving!” she sounded so pleased, I could see the smile on her face through the phone.

“That’s wonderful, Mama. I hope they do”

I pray I did hit a nerve with him. Life is so short. I sure do miss having my big brother in my life and I know Jesus misses him too.

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