Christian Living

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Larry Lilly's Letter Monday November 6, 2006

Some wise soul, unknown to me wrote a grand saying that will help all of us in learning to be friends who endure the often harsh test of time and events.

"We don't have to change friends if we understand that friends change."

The more I think about it the more I think that I originally said the above or at least I should have, because it is gooood.

Mature friendship allows the friend to grow, and growth always involves change, change from juvenile attitudes to more mature ones, ideas change along with personal growth as does certain likes and dislikes. The Apostle Paul spoke of 'when a child I spoke as a child, when I became a man I put away childish things.' (Lilly's very rough paraphrase).

I know I sure have changed over the years. I used to utterly detest slow drivers. Now, with age I only detest those in front of me. Sensible people change from know it alls into those who are still learning and while we are learning we learn there is so much more to learn.

Remaining friends with friends who change for the better may be tough if you have decided to become a static person and cease to grow. That is your decision, but it is not a wise one. Permit your growing friend to goad you into growth. If you do not want to learn some new thing, learn more about something you already know a little bit about. You will be amazed at how little you really know about anything.

The really tough act is to remain friends with someone who due to who knows what in life can no longer grow in the Lord or in life. Life can get pretty tough and when folks get a little older brains and hearts and eyes and ears and other body parts no longer function. It is at this time in your friend's life that you can demonstrate the depth, the reality of your friendship to them. I often weep when I see some of my friends as they slide down the slope of Alzheimer's, or suffer the loss of physical ability. I went to see a woman the other day all the while knowing that she had no idea of who I am, or do I have any reason to believe that she would recall that I stopped by. Yet I went because I know and she is a friend.

It is an oft told story of the little wife who works while the hubby studies and gets his degree and then due to her lack of education hubby soon tires of her and due to his superior education and intellect must leave her and marry someone closer to his greatness. What happened to the friend who loves at all times?

Most of my childhood friends have changed dramatically, but I still count them as dear. Why? I guess because our friendships were formed in the crucible of near unbelievable poverty and the suffering that goes with it.

Larry Lilly Copyright © 2006 Use with Credit.

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