Christian Living

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Larry Lilly's Letter Friday November 3, 2006

In the movie, 'Love Story' the lead characters come to the conclusion that "love never has to say, I'm sorry." Of course those of us who have and do love know better.

In 'love' saying, "I'm sorry" is one of the staples of enduring relationship, for a song states it right in the phrase, 'You always hurt the one you love.' Sadly true.

Love and friendships are much alike; actually there is no friendship sans love. Enduring friendships must learn to give and accept sincere apologies.

A well known clergyman said:

"A true apology is more than just acknowledgment of a mistake. It is recognition that something you have said or done has damaged a relationship and that you care enough about the relationship to want it repaired and restored."

A friend wrote to me the other day and in closing stated, "Be sure to say hello to your dear friend, The Great Blonde."

I thought about his remark for a long time. He was referring to Joyce, my wife of 42 years whom I often call The Great Blonde. She finds this title in no way demeaning as it is a term of affection and uniqueness. About the only thing I have ever outdone her in is in the choice of mates. And for someone to know that we are friends is a testimony of God's grace. If friendship is tested by trials, then we sure are the best. Of course we grew into great friends prior to our marriage, and although marriage is said to spoil many friendships, ours has grown rather than diminished over the years.

To be honest about our marriage and friendship, we learned early on that if we were to continue as husband/wife/friends, apologies would be the order of the day, especially in the early days as I really did not have a clue about how to treat a friend or wife. She knew a little more and through prayer, study and grit we have been learning.

A cancer scare a few weeks ago brought home to us the nearness that we share. I know a gaggle of people, who are married, but they are not friends, yet Joyce and I, while we have other friends, are bonded as one in marriage and in friendship. This combination is rare in our time. One of our dear children remarked that we are already a museum piece!

Over the years I have learned to follow the advice of Dr. Peale and say with all sincerity, "Honey I was wrong to have said or done this or that." And with quivering lips I hear her say, "Oh, sure, you say it but you don't really mean it." And then, I, like a groveling slave, must exert all my energy in attempts to prove that I really do mean it. She is not your stereotypical blonde!

Larry Lilly Copyright © 2006 Use with credit

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