Christian Living

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Larry Lilly's Letter Monday October 30, 2006

A longtime friend asked me, "Larry, how on earth can you remain friends with so and so after what she has done?" Good question isn't it?

Most of us take and drop friends as though they were some commodity that is so common that they are of little value. This is not right.

I shared a truth with the friend that asked about my other friend that has helped me over many rough spots in the path of my life. I think it might help you.

Never focus on the slips a friend has made or for that matter for times he/she may have dove in head first into something utterly stupid. If your friend does something that is embarrassing, you should not be embarrassed to still be known as his/her friend.

I experienced this kind of friendship when I first came to the city of Terre Haute. I was going through a sensational time, in the papers weekly and sometimes daily, yet this man, Jim Church, who is a Christian and at that time running a rescue work for troubled teens, and needing the favor of other Christians to help with this draining ministry befriended me and that publicly. He often had me preach at the chapel services associated with his ministry and took me to several gatherings of Christians and pastors in the city. He knew what the papers said, but decided to be my friend. I have never forgotten this act of mercy, grace and genuine friendship, which is now stretching into many years and through dangers, toils and strife for both of us.

I told my questioner that the reason he does not have many close friends is that he communicates to people that he "Can see right through them." I suggested he learn to let folks know that he "Will see them through."

An unknown person has gained a lot of note through the saying:

"A real friend is the person who, when you have made a fool of yourself, does not feel you have done a permanent job."

I found out first hand that everyone needs a friend who will not give up on you even when things are so tough that you give up on yourself. So, having benefited from this kind of friendship, I renewed an old commitment that I would be this kind of friend. In the case of the man mentioned, I sincerely pray that I have demonstrated to him the kind of compassionate friendship to him that he unexpectedly bestowed on me many years and many tears ago.

In my opinion formed over a long life one of the saddest statements is, "He/she used to be my friend." Tragic words.

Larry Lilly Copyright © 2006 Use with credit

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