Humor
Sweating like a chicken gone to roost…
You lie like a bear caught in the woods…
Altitude is determined by how many cows are in the meadow…
You have to stand for something or you may find yourself meeting the tiger…
You say potayto, I say better find a cold drink…
Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to throw stones in glass houses…
If a tree falls in the forest the nut never falls far from the tree…
~cori smelker
Ask not what your country can do for you, count your blessings…
Big brother is taking the scenic route…
If your foresight was as good as your hindsight, you wouldn't have been caught with your hand in the cookie jar…
It's a freckle past waking up with chickens…
Tickled as a mud fence…
Busting a gut like a canary…
That's the $64,000 Spanish Inquisition…
Turn over a new average bear…
Better than a spankin' new turnip truck…
His bark is worse than a baby's bottom…
Mind your own horses mouth…
He's fishing for her soap box…
The hand that rocks the wild goose chase…
A fool and his money broke the camel's back…
All that glitters doesn't go to the top floor…
Life is like a lead balloon…
Once in a blue moon, your mouth is faster than a speeding bullet…
Beggars can't be rotten in the state of Denmark…
Better to light a candle than curse a gift horse in the mouth…
Too many cooks spoil spilled milk…
It hurts me worse than being hit with an ugly stick…
Make like a tree and break a leg…
Six feet under two peas in a pod…
Birds of a feather put the pedal to the metal…
When life gives you lemons, burn your bridges…
An apple a day lets the bed bugs bite…
A bird in the hand is worth a fat lady singing…
Bite the other hand…
I have a bone to pick with a barrel of monkeys…
Put a cork in your own horn…
It takes two to kick the bucket…
Straight from the chicken with its head cut off …
Silence is a squeaky wheel pushing up daisies with a forked tongue…
~Glenn Hascall
Once bitten by a snake remember that old soldiers never die…
Your neighbour's wife shouldn't throw stones at glass houses…
When you go up the mountain watch out for Mohammed…
Fight poison with Greeks bearing gifts…
If you're in a hurry you can't get blood out a stone…
The pen is mightier than the mother of invention…
Walk a mile in someone else's the dirty linen…
Looks like the cat that ate the early bird…
Good fences make good omelets without breaking eggs…
Burning the candle at the end justifies the means…
Look both ways before you cut off your nose to spite your face…
In for a penny, in for bowl of cherries…
Take the speck out of your own eye before you count your chickens…
The blind leading the doctor away…
~Anon.
Do unto others what too many cooks did to a bird in the hand…
Beggars can't be robbing Peter to pay Paul…
Better to light a candle than curse the skeleton in the cupboard…
Too many cooks spoil the cake and eat it…
Experience is the mother of his own worst enemy…
Lightning never strikes sleeping dogs…
Scratch my back and I’ll spare the rod…
The female of the species soon parts a fool from his money…
Bad news travels on a rolling stone…
~Meljkerr
Don't count your chickens before your goose is cooked….
~Whitney
A spoonful of sugar---is recommended by four out of five dentists...
Three's a---prime number.
You can choose your friends--, but remember, choosy mothers choose Jif!
"That's the way the cookie bounces" (mine might!)
Quote from Kermit the Frog: "Time's fun when you're having flies"
~BGKERN
A leopard changing its own apples and oranges…
Early to bed and early to rise, helps a man to fish or cut bait…
A fox guarding the chicken with its head cut off…
Monkey see, monkey cuts off his nose with the grindstone…
Keep the home fires on the baby with the bath…
A stitch in time saves a penny earned…
Sharp as a log in your own eye…
She's got eyes in sheep’s clothing…
When in Rome fire the first shot…
Opportunity doesn't knock but laughs last …
Putting all your eggs from one frying pan into the fire…
You've made your own bed, now make lemonade..
Run it up the flag pole and see who'll let the cat out of the bag...
~David Ian
Throw the baby out when God opens a window...
Want not and let live…
A fool and his money laugh last…
On one hand and out the other…
The early bird catches grief…
One left foot of fellowship after another…
~Dori
The pen is mightier than the paper it's written on.
Walk a mile in someone else's greener grass.
Looks like the cat that ate everything that glitters that isnt gold.
Good fences make good wooden nickels.
Burning the candle at my witts end.
Look both ways before sweeping around your own backdoor.
In for a penny , in for choosing your words wisely. ( they have to make cents)
The blind leading the three blind mice.
Do unto others as you would have others turn the other cheek.
~Poetic Flight (Kevin)
Be there, or be round…
Fly like an apple…
Busy as a plastic…
~DUB (Swamp Rat)
Don't put all your eggs on a hot tin roof…
Be true to your chickens before they are hatched…
Put your pants on once in a blue moon…
Busy as a bowl of cherries…
If its not broke, beat around the bush…
If you can't take the heat don't fix it…
One good deed deserves a room full of rocking chairs…
As sharp as a cookie crumbles…
The nose on your face has a silver lining…
Nervous as a cat calling the kettle black…
~PGWhalen (Patrick)
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I don't think I want to meet a guy who only but his pants on once in a blue moon, though!:-)