Christian Living

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Larry Lilly's Letter Friday October 20, 2006

I have thoroughly enjoyed writing on the subject of friendship this week and I may continue next week along the same line. Friendship is one of the many misunderstood subjects in the Bible and certainly in life.

One of my favorite verses on friendship is Proverbs 18:24

"A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother."

Here is a verse that tops the list for misinterpretation. Often students of life are led to believe that putting on your best Dale Carnegie smile is all there is to making an enduring friendship. Dale Carnegie never taught this and anyone who has lived very long knows there is much more to it.

The verse gives the ultimate example as to the kind of friend we must strive to be and in my opinion the 'friend who sticks closer than a brother is in the final analysis the Lord Jesus.

So when we are in the pursuit of finding friends what does the verse mean when it says, 'must show himself friendly?'

The answer will cover more aspects of friendship that I have space, but I will list some and assure you they are the biblical principles of friendships that endure adversity, said to be the test of friendship. Arnold Glasgow said, "A true friend never gets in your way unless you happen to be going down." In other words a true friend has the courage to interfere when you decide to destroy yourself or your reputation. A friend lifts up his friend.

What about loyalty to your friends? Can you keep quiet when your friend is being run down? Why? Or more to the point, how? A while ago a young woman asked me to advise her concerning a man she was thinking of marrying. I simply asked her, "Is he loyal to his friends? If he is not, then he will not be loyal to you or to any person or cause." To be loyal does not mean to be a 'yes' person, but it does mean that you do not abandon a friend. Sometimes loyalty demands that you disagree with a friend. I would be very hesitant to become friends with a person who was disloyal to his parents. Hey, the Bible makes some strong statements on this.

An old adage had it, "There is no honor among thieves." I take the opposite is that "There IS honor among friends." At least you should be developing friendship with people of honor. Period.

One of the heartbreaking scenes in a pastor's life is for two friends to set to fighting with each other and they each expect you take their side. I have learned and have scars to prove it, in most cases to remain friends with both, for most fights aren't worth the effort or the emotional price of giving up on someone you care about.

Larry Lilly Copyright © 2006 Use with credit

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