Christian Living

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Larry Lilly's Letter Thursday October 19, 2006

We all have friends or at least think that we do. I have no wisdom to impart on 'How To Make Friends,' for the only wisdom I have comes from and is based on the scriptures. Other sources may teach you how to make friends, but God is the creator and any attempt by mere humans in such a divine matter as friendship is bound to fail. I do have a raft of thoughts on "How To Be A Friend." The Bible states, "A friend loveth at all times, and a brother is born for adversity." This verse dispels the concept of having or being a 'fair weather friends.'

An old Chinese proverb states, "Do not use a hatchet to remove a fly from your friend's forehead." With all the hatchet marks on my forehead, you get a good idea of the mentality of many whom I supposed were friends! And God forgive me for the hatchet marks I placed upon friends in younger times of ignorance.

Using the hatchet method of attempting to remove flaws from our friends is an exercise in utter futility. Most of us are willing to put up with friends that have flies similar to our own and we can say, "Well, we're not perfect, but with Christ we are on the way!" But the same grace is not bestowed on those who have different and therefore much larger flies on their forehead. Out comes the hatchet!! In my group it is not unheard of to bury the hatchet while you search for the axe!

Most sensible people teach and practice the adage that "It's better to be alone than to associate with the wrong people." I certainly concur with this wisdom. It is for this truth that we must take proper care in choosing just who will be our friends. The accepting of a person as a friend should involve far more prayer than is usually taken and as a result heartache abounds around the word friend. A friend can hurt you far more than an enemy could ever dream of. So be careful.

At that same time you must be careful that you are not more demanding than God Himself on this matter. I read a Hasidic proverb which states:

"One who looks for a friend without faults will have none."

The Jewish proverb is almost true. There is one in whom even Pontius Pilate confessed,

"I find NO fault in this man." Luke 23:4.

The most sensible act a person can do is to accept the fact that Jesus calls you His friend and that He is the only one who will never let you down. With this thought in mind consider this: It hurts so terribly to have a friend let you down, just when you need them. A more important question is; does it hurt you when you let your friend down? If you understand true friendship the latter will hurt more than the former.

Larry Lilly Copyright © 2006 Use with credit.

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