Christian Living

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Why do we insist on making sure that we are never alone? Why do we break up with someone that we know is bad for us and then go right back to them just so we can feel "together"? Why do people settle for "good" when if they were patient, "great" would surely come along? It isn't a bad thing to go back to "comfortable", but why settle for it?

Why do we hate being alone?

I think it is because we are human. I think from the beginning of time we have been wired to want to be with other people. We are a social bunch and there is nothing that we like more than being around other people that compliment our strengths and weaknesses. When you ask people what their biggest fear is, many will answer "being alone" or "dying alone". That deep rooted fear drives many of our actions in the relationship department. When I counsel women and men in regards to relationships I am always amazed that they are more than willing to stay with people that they know are not good for them....for the sole purpose of not being alone. That is a pretty strong statement when you think about it. We would rather have less of a life and be with someone, than be alone for a little while and most likely have a better quality of life. Loneliness is a powerful emotion isn't it?

Let's look at this from another direction though. What if we need to be lonely in order to figure out what we truly want. What if the time we spend with ourselves is vital to the finding of that person who is going to make us truly happy. How can we as humans know what we want from other people if we don't even understand who we are? If I don't know my own strengths, weaknesses, desires, and fears......how am I going to be able to find a person who compliments me?

Look at what God did to Jesus. He sends him out to the wilderness for 40 days and basically throws everything but the kitchen sink at him. When we read the story there is a quick acknowledgement that 40 days is a long time and it must have been hard for Jesus to stay focused. Think about it for a moment. 40 days would be starting on October 1st and then being alone with no human contact until November 9th. I personally think it would be very hard to do. I find it interesting that God sends Jesus out on this assignment early on in his ministry...and it was done to teach and help Jesus grow as a person.

Being alone for a while is not a bad thing. In fact, it can actually benefit you in the long run. I know that there are some of you out there who are terrified of being lonely. I know that there are some of you that think that the person you are with is the only person who will ever actually love you. I know that there are those of you who are convinced that love is not something that truly exists so you better just hang on to what you got.

Don't settle for second best. Don't go through life afraid to see what God has in store for you. Don't be afraid to be alone for a little while. Enjoy the moments that you have with yourself and figure out what type of person God wants you to be. There are people out there who are just waiting to have you walk into their lives. Get out into the wilderness and see what you are made of.....you just might be surprised at who is wandering through the woods with you.

Sometimes you need to be alone in order to end up together.

Think about it.

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