Humor

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(Continued from Part Three: Three angels are perplexed over a lost
Flaming Sword, and a broken Trumpet. All of the other angels of the
Kingdom are waiting for Spiritual Battle, and The Last Call. Will a
needed Mitzvot happen?)

[Author's Note: Often, it is our most obvious weakness, and frailty
which show the Wonder and Glory of the Lord. Amen!]

[In Memory of My Jewish Parents: Julian and Elaine.]

Michael hadn't changed into his purple robes yet. He was a Fighting
angel in the Call for Battle; right now though, he had been called by
the Lord to do another smaller, though very important Heavenly
challenge. He moved his massive bulk of muscles uncomfortably on
the mound of Joach's rumpled clothes. "Hey, Jo. It's okay. Me and
Gabe are here; we're not going anywhere. I got a Special Call this
morning from Father."

Joach clumsily wiped the hot, salty tear away from the middle of
his plump cheek. "Yeah, I know. The Last Trumpet Call is Today.
I'm sorry. I'm messing everything up." (Sniff. Hiccup.) Josh, the
slightly plumper basset hound, whimpered, and tried to sit closer to
his friend's face. It was a little difficult since Josh's furry belly was
getting in the way.

"No, Joach! Father didn't call me about that! No, little guy, His
Command was that I come and stay with you! Me and Gabe had very
special orders today; maybe, it was just to help our cousin Jo clean
up his apartment?" Michael had a teasing look in his clear, bright eyes.
He gave another gentle pat on the basset's heavy rump.

Joach couldn't help but laugh softly. He looked up at Gabriel, and
smiled, hanging his curly head. "That might have been it, Gabe. Maybe,
Angela got mad at me again!"

The two bigger angels sitting next to their chubby cousin, laughed in
thunderous unison. The sounds comforted Josh, and he began barking
happily. Angela was another cousin; she was sort of the exact opposite
of Joach, and liked everything just so. Lately, she had been after Joach
to practice his shofar blowing, more. Unfortunately, Joach's trumpet
blowing sounded more like a very strained football coach's whistle, or
a North Atlantic Coast foghorn. Angela, the Last Call musical organizer,
was very particular; she had been on special assignment to get her well-
meaning cousin ready for Last-Shofar-Call-for-Salvation Day. So far,
she didn't have too much to report about, to Father. Angela had given
Joach a whole packet of sheet music to review, along with a list of times
for private tutoring sessions. Joach, being of the good-natured sort,
really wanted to comply, but he was usually very sleepy, and kind of lazy during
the day.

Joach worked nights at the East Gate, and didn't come back home until
about 8:30 in the morning. By then, it was all he could do to keep his
big eyes awake, while he ate his morning Cinnamon Cherrios, read an
Archie comic book, and let Josh outside in the garden below, for a little
romp. (Angel and dog had tried taking walks together, but they hadn't
worked out very well; Joach had trouble with flat feet - despite Father
giving him a new pair of orthodics - and Josh's tummy dragged too much
when he tried to trot at a steady pace.) Happy to snooze in his sunny apartment,
or reading comic books and/or eating Ruffles on his cluttered patio all day, Joach
had gotten the bright idea to practice his shofar blowing out on his balcony.
He had meant well, but some of his neighbors had become a little cranky about it.
One of the neighbors was his cousin, Angela.

A minor, secondary problem with Joach's shofar blowing on his upstairs
balcony, was that his basset hound always accompanied him on the open,
sunlit breezy patio; as soon as he heard Joach's whistling foghorn, Josh
began yipping at first, then barking loudly, and then.........howling. Angela's
apartment was right below Joach's quarters. She worked the night
shift also, as Chief Coordinator of the Early Morning Symphony Choir.

Just thinking about his fresh-smelling-grass-in-the-spring breezy patio, made
poor Joach stop laughing immediately. He hung his curly head down on
Josh's soft, smelly back. Joach thought he could see a flea sitting in the
middle of a couple of Josh's stiff fur hairs, but he wasn't sure.

"What is it, Jo?" Gabriel, more slender than his humongous, Fighting angel
cousin, was sitting atop Joach's coffee table. Gabriel glanced down at
the table he was using; it didn't look much like a place for holding coffee
to him: Archie comic books lay this way and that, on the solid marble top,
along with a big blue leather dog leash, some half-chewed pooch-piglet-ears,
a bag of Double-Stuffed Chocolate and Mint Oreos, as well as various
pieces of golden robes and sashes waiting to be laundered.

"Well, you see........" Joach began. His bottom lip had begun to quiver
slightly, again.

"We love you, Joach. Father loves you. Lord Jesus loves you." Michael
put a strong, muscular palm over Joach's much smaller, tightly clasped
hands. The warmth and Heaven-sent power of the Fighting angel's limbs
gave little Joach the courage to speak up, once more.

"Hm.....well, uh, you see......about the shofar........well, it broke when, uh......."
Now, Joach looked up at his two cousins. His face had brightened from
the words of love about the Father and Jesus. Even his small, plump
hands were no longer fidgeting, or seemed restless.

"Yes, Joach?" Gabriel, who spent more daily time with their woe-begotten
cousin, now had a bit of a teasing smirk on his beautifully carved face.
His exquisitely lashed eyes slid over to glance at his powerfully strong,
and compassionately sensitive cousin, Michael. Both of them frowned,
in a sort of half-smile, full of affectionate disgust for their poor
cousin's predicament.

"Well, guys, you see.......uh........what happened to the shofar was that it,
sort of, fell off the balcony the other day."

"JO!" Both of Joach's cousins' huge shoulders were firmly
shaking with laughter. Gabriel continued, "How did THAT happen,
Joach? Was it while you were outside, practicing?"

Joach nodded. This time, his nod wasn't accompanied by hot tears.
He actually had his beatific smile spreading slowly from cheek to
fleshy cheek. He giggled, and pressed stubby fingers to his lips.
"I'm sorry, guys! I didn't mean it! You know how very hard I've been
working! I didn't tell you, Michael, about that Garden snake the other
day, did I? Oh, wow! It was really gigantic! You should have seen it......"

Michael couldn't stop chuckling; he rubbed a massive hand over his
long, thick curls. His own halo of Light was set a bit higher over his head,
to accompany his spectacular height. "JOACH! NOW, WHAT HAPPENED?
What did you do: blow into it so hard, that it got pushed out of your
hands - and over the balcony?"

Josh, finished with slurping his owner's double chin, had plopped off
the gold speckled couch, and was now heading toward his fresh water,
blue plastic bowl. Even the sleeping angels painted on the bowl looked
mirthful, right now. Joach looked after him, and thought he definitely
saw a flea bouncing merrily along with Josh's swaying back.

"Well, not exactly." This time, Joach nodded his doubled, and dimpled
chin towards his pooch's retreating figure.

Gabriel and Michael turned their curly heads to look in Josh's direction.
"JOSH? WHAT DID HE DO?" Their masculine, angelic voices created
beautiful harmony even in Josh's cluttered living quarters.

"Well, guys! You know Josh. He always gets really excited when I
practice my shofar! It's a great time for him! He starts howling, and
won't stop! A couple of weeks ago, I got so many "Hey-Joach-that-
dog-of-yours-is-making-all-of-Heaven-a-havoc!" yells, that I was
forced to drag the poor baby inside for a few minutes. I can tell you;
Josh didn't like THAT one bit! He began REALLY whimpering then,
scraping his claws against the bottom of my glass door......do you see
all the scratches under there?" Joach pointed to a motley set of claw
and paw prints, scattered about the lower part of his balcony sliding door.

Both Gabriel and Michael put huge palms over their eyes, shaking their
long curls in disbelief. "Is that when your shofar fell?" Gabe stopped
laughing for a minute to question his cousin.

"Oh no, Gabe! That wasn't it! No, somehow, that time, I actually got
to finish one of Angela's practice music sheets, though I can tell you......
it was a bit of a trial." Joach rolled his big innocent eyes in wonder.
His lashes were beautiful, also, though a bunch of them were matted,
and stuck together from too much nap time. "No. This happened just
last Saturday afternoon. I mean, you know, the........" Joach broke off
his sentence, and hung his round head, again.

Gabriel could definitely see Joach's little bald spot. "You mean, the
incident with the shofar?" He finished his cousin's statement for him.

Joach nodded, this time trying to appear very ashamed and woeful.
His up-tilted visage, and tiny one-sided smile gave away his normal,
good-natured humor.

Michael felt cheered again, seeing his little cousin look more like his
own natural, ne're-do-well, good-humored self. "Okay, Jo. So, the
shofar fell off your balcony just the other day? Oh. Well, that
means we won't have any trouble finding it. Great! Okay! Let's go......."
Michael jumped up, causing Joach's mound of disheveled dirty, and
clean laundry to fall over, and spill everywhere. Josh trotted over,
and began sniffing garments, here and there. Using his very sharp
canines, he pulled on a particularly soiled white robe, and began dragging
it towards his low, wide sleeping basket next to Joach's quilt lumped
bed. The basket, equipped with a big warming pad, had been another
gift from Father.

Suddenly, another KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK interrupted the little
angelic thinking-squad. Gabe and Michael gave each other hopelessly
sorrowful, though affectionately mirthful looks, and rolled their eyes
toward - well, toward Heaven. Before, anybody could say, "Who is IT?",
another angelic voice could be heard. This voice definitely screeched,
and grated on everyone's ear canals.

The voice belonged to Angela, Chief Director of the Last-Shofar-Last
-Call-and-Come-To-Battle lineup.

"Uh, oh." Gabriel, Joach, and Michael's words were in perfect harmony
this time.

TO BE CONTINUED............

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