Humor
(Continued from 'Part Two of Sleeping through the Alarm on Judgment Day')
[Author's Note: Just when things appear to be hopelessly doomed, and at their
worst for us, the Lord is working perfectly timed Mitzvot, for the Glory of
His Kingdom!]
"BROKEN?" Gabriel was so taken aback, that two of his pristine white feathers
actually turned sideways, and matted together. It was his turn to begin pacing
back and forth in Joach's significantly disheveled apartment. Joach's basset
hound, Josh, thought it was a new game, and began trying to valiantly follow in
Gabriel's massive footsteps. Josh seemed to take in the very upsetting turn of
events, and didn't bark for once.
Joach nodded softly. At least he had the grace to look appropriately abashed.
"But......but, Jo, how could a Shofar particularly designed for the Last Day's Call,
get......BROKEN?" Gabriel couldn't help himself; he began to laugh in spite of the
rather dire circumstances. By now, all of the angels would be poised in an
eternally long line, wearing their finest purple robes, and standing at attention,
with huge Final Trumpeting Shofars held high. All would be waiting for The
Signal; everything had been Planned for many eons. All of these Glorious
moments had been perfectly set into motion - except for the unpredictable
slovenliness of his own rather plump, and sad sack of a cousin, Joach. "Oy vey."
Joach nodded again. His big, curly head hung so low on his sleep wrinkled
night robes, that Gabriel could almost see his cousin's tiny bald spot through
his slightly faded halo Light.
"Oh, Jo! What now? What are we going to do?" Gabriel almost felt an
unfamiliar sense of panic rising. He, being of the extremely large and graceful
sort, never had had such a feeling - until now. Drops of sweat trickled under his
huge armpits. Then, he began to feel very sad. Gabriel could feel his strong
heart begin to break, because he saw a big tear slide unhurriedly down his plump
cousin's face.
"Oh, Jo!" The massively powerful angel walked carefully through the laundry
and food plate strewn apartment, in order to wrap his huge, muscular arms
around his little cousin. Gabriel's natural healing warmth, and genuine love for
his closest family member, immediately gave Joach much needed strength, and
comfort. "Don't worry, Jo. I'm with you, no matter what. I won't leave you,
ever. I love you, little guy! Father loves you, too! He will understand! He will
understand, and fix everything! You'll see!"
Josh, sensing the heartfelt, and very sweet moment between kindred angels of
the Lord, whimpered and trotted over to nuzzle both of their bare feet. Gabriel
could feel warm drops of doggie drool fall to his big toes.
Suddenly, a big booming KNOCK sounded on Joach's front door.
KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK!
"Uh oh, Gabe! You don't think it's.......?" Joach used his cousin's immaculately soft,
white robes to wipe his weepy eyes, and runny nose. Grabbing some more of
the satiny smooth material, he blew his nose again, dripping onto Gabriel's
fluffy, white feathers.
Gabriel patted the shorter angel's small shoulders with a big, strong hand.
"You just set over on the couch, Jo. Take Josh boy with you, okay? I'll
answer the door. Don't worry, alright? It's going to be fine. I promise,
okay?"
Joach nodded tearfully, snorted noisily, and took hold of his basset hound's
blue leather collar. At the end of the collar, was a blue and white plastic
angel shaped tag; it was imprinted with the words, "My name is Josh. Please
return me to the Lord, if I get lost. Thank you very much."
"Hey, Gabe? You in there?" An unbelievably tremendous, and warrior sounding
voice came from the other side of Joach's front door.
Both Joach and Gabriel visibly relaxed. It was their extremely large,
even more muscular, and very aggressive, though tenderly loving cousin,
Michael. Michael's wings were so big that when he wasn't using them, they
were made to bend into thirds of smooth-folding layers of feathers. The
boom of his tornado sounding voice echoed through the now empty balconies
of Joach's apartment dwelling. By now, every angel would be at their
Last Trumpet Day's posts, alert and ready for battle.
"Just a minute, Michael!" Gabriel called to the closed door; he led his
sweet faced, teary eyed cousin over to the gold speckled couch. Before waiting
for Joach to sit down, Gabriel had to make room for both him and his fat dog,
tossing several empty bags of potato chips and doggie treats onto the cluttered
floor. "You okay, Jo? Now, just sit there. Me and Michael are here, now.
We'll figure things out, okay? Here, have a soda. It looks like your favorite -
raspberry rootbeer."
Joach sniffed some more, and noisily slurped on a strawful of rootbeer,
while Gabriel lumbered over to the front door. Before opening it, though,
he had to push a box of Christmas CD's out of the way.
"Hey, Gabe! What's going on? I was sent over here, to see what I could
do, to help!" Michael, the Fighting Angel of All Time, ducked into his little
cousin's doorway. First, though, he stopped and touched a tiny mezuzah
stuck to the door frame; then he touched the same fingers to his firm lips.
"Michael! Are we glad to see YOU! How did you know we were here,
anyway?" Gabriel shot his humongous cousin a questioning look; Michael,
in return, gave him a very straight, purposeful stare.
"Oh." Gabriel drew in a breath, and glanced back at Joach. Their
chubby cousin was still wearing his wrinkled sleeping gown, and was busy
blowing his nose into a soiled handkerchief. His fat basset hound was curled
up, rather awkwardly, on his plump lap. A soft poochie whimpering could be
heard by all three angels. Gabriel looked down, and picked up a dirty,
chewed-on doggie bone; he tossed it onto Joach's couch. Josh immediately
stopped whimpering, and grabbed the slobbered-on bone with a big clumsy paw.
"Well, Michael, come on in!" Gabriel stepped back to allow his cousin room to
amble into little Joach's crowded living quarters.
"Hey, guys! How's it going?" Michael, extremely sensitive and compassionate
for a such a huge warrior, immediately took in the forlorn little scene with
instinctive patience. He gave his larger cousin another purposeful stare, and
went over to sit on a mound of rumpled clothes next to Joach's gold speckled
couch. "Hey, Joach! Is this your new pooch? Huh, he's a cutie!" Michael
lifted a mountainous hand to gently pat the basset hound's soft head and ears.
Joach merely nodded. He couldn't speak, because at the moment, he had
started to tear up again. His plump chin quivered, and a big, hot, salty
drop of water slowly dripped down his fat cheek.
TO BE CONTINUED................(in Part Four)
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