Marriage

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Lessons Learned....

I have had several years of learning in the way of being a wife and it has not been an easy road for me in some ways. I am not one to naturally give in and be submissive... I have always been one to argue and argue until I get my way... I have been loud, and pushy a lot in my life. I have felt a lot, as the Lord has dealt with me on this, much like a horse getting broken - or maybe more like a wrestler pinned to the ground. I'm getting there though... and it's not because of age either. I had thought I would mellow out with age and be that gentle quiet and submissive spirited woman I saw in my Grandmother.. but no. I'm too much like my dad. So it has not come easy for me to sit still and let the Lord mold me into the wife he wants me to be, but I'm sure trying, and I'm making all kinds of progress, but I still have a long way to go. (Sorry GJ!) and He is the savior of the body. Therefore JUST as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be subject to their own husbands in everything." Ephesians 5:22

After all I have gone through to get to at least the point where I am now, it's something I know like the back of my hand what the Word of God says on this matter. For I learned it not only through READING it, but I learned it mostly the hard way. See, God has already mapped out for us which way works in certain things because HE knows THIS WAY WORKS. When we struggle with our flesh and refuse to bend, it's because we truly do not believe that His way works. We think His way will cause us to suffer. I mean... who wants to be submissive to anyone? We struggle sometimes with being submissive to the Lord, so anyone under Him who is just another human that we see flaws in is surely not going to be any easier... much much harder. But it's His ways. So they work. I have learned it time and time again the hard way.

The bible says that if our husbands are not obedient to the Word, we are STILL supposed to obey the Word concerning them because through our conduct and heart toward the Lord our husbands will be won. (Read 1 Peter 3:1-2) So we can't go around saying that we don't have to respect our husbands or be under their leadership because they aren't "walking with the Lord" or whatever... the bible says here not only is that not an excuse, it says it's a REASON TO KEEP DOING IT GOD'S WAY! We want him won don't we? Show him Jesus. Show him respect. Challenge him with your behavior toward him to live in obedience to God's truth! And remember, the Word says "they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives" - don't preach to them... I know it's hard not to. Sometimes it seems like we women think that the world will come to an end if we do not speak, LOL! We think "well how's he gonna know if I don't SAY something?" The Lord is well able to tell him what he needs to hear, and he will hear it from the Lord. All he hears from you comes like condemnation to him, and sooner or later you're just a mouth moving with no sound because he will tune you out! Your silence is a sacrifice of love as you quietly remind yourself that as you trust the LORD with this, HE will bless your silence, because that silence is obedience. God always blesses obedience, especially obedience out of trust that He's got it!

If you know a decision your husband is making is wrong... and you cannot come to an agreement with him - you have to trust God with his decision and bend to him- because in bending to HIM you are bending ultimately to GOD. God is the one in control and you MUST believe that with your whole heart. If you truly do believe that, then what is so hard to let him have his way? It says in Proverbs that a man plans his way but it is the Lord who orders his steps. The Lord is teaching you both something different at the same time. Your responsibility as a wife is to trust the LORD.... not your husband. It's not up to him. And if he makes a bad decision that costs you, and causes you to suffer because of it... well then you are suffering "according to the will of God" because you "commit your soul to HIM in the doing of good. as to a FAITHFUL creator!" (1 Peter 4:19) He is faithful my sisters!!!! When we take things into our own hands we are no longer trusting God at all, and therefore not doing good... and it all falls apart cause it's not the way God has set up for us. It's not the way HE knows works. Try it His way, it works!

This type of submission arises out of our submission to God's Word and our love and respect for Jesus - it in not an unthinking obedience... and certainly God would not want you to submit to anything illegal or abusive... I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about hard-headed, stubborn women like myself, who forget that it's GOD we trust, that it's GOD in charge, and that we are truly in defiance and rebellion when we do not submit ourselves under God to our husbands. The bible says rebellion is as the sin of witchcraft. I don't wanna be a witch!!!

"For rebellion is as the sin of witchcraft,
And stubbornness is as iniquity and idolatry.
Because you have rejected the word of the LORD..."
(1 Samuel 15:23)

"Wives, submit to your OWN husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the Church; and He is the savior of the body. Therefore JUST as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be subject to their own husbands in everything." Ephesians 5:22

Sure, the Word of God says a lot to those husbands too, but that's not for us, that's between our husbands and the Lord. I have to constantly remind my kids of this same thing. Sometimes it seems like the Lord is just on YOUR case... seems like the other person just gets away with everything sometimes and we are the only ones who keep getting called on something. Well we don't know what that person needs or what will work with them or what's going on in their heart... but God does.... and it's none of our business. Our business is our own relationship with the Lord and that is what we are accountable for. It seems like Peter had the same problem! In John 21:20-23 it says "Then Peter, turning around, saw the disciple whom Jesus loved following, who also had leaned on His breast at the supper, and said, "Lord, who is the one who betrays You?" Peter, seeing him, said to Jesus, "But Lord, what about this man?" Jesus said to him, "If I will that he remain till I come, what is that to you? You follow Me."Then this saying went out among the brethren that this disciple would not die. Yet Jesus did not say to him that he would not die, but, "If I will that he remain till I come, what is that to you?"


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Follow Him.

...and follow him.


Originally posted by me =D

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