Faith

---

A sudden quiet

and then His voice spoke,

broke

through my morning reverie

"If she had not given her life to Me,

if she had kept her life
without reform,
repentance
and a renewed heart,

if she had not sought My eternal life

and the everlasting redemption
of heaven and peace with Me,
would. you. still. want. her. with. you?

I paused and brushed my hair,

the mirror reflecting eyes surprised and

this was my reply:

"You know I prayed often for her redemption,

and I believed that salvation was near.

(I longed to share this spiritual sisterhood with my only daughter as the highest love we could have on earth.)

He replied,

"I answered your prayer."

My hair in place, brush put away, eyes closed,

I bowed my head,

"Yes, You did.

And I thank You for Your gift."

He left me alone to remember how she and I took communion together in the hospital, how we held hands together, prayed together.

I remembered her last long prayer shared aloud with friends,

while in labor

for the baby she would not raise....

One of my friends said her prayer was the purest she had ever heard and this same friend remarked at the memorial how my daughter's prayer had put her to shame

because of her faith and purity of heart.

I vowed to never forget my sistine images.

And then it came to me that I had not answered God's question.

I had thanked Him,

committed to remember His gift,

but I had left unanswered His important question to me.

I don't know my answer, but I well know what the answer should be.

In faith,

I believe,

with time,

I will give God the answer that pleases Him and comforts me.

Afterthought:

When you read this,

don't tell me how wonderful it all is....

because

despite knowing I have this great gift....

I bear a terrible sacrifice

of lonliness,

regret,

and sorrow.

Just read this and know I am thankful for His gift of her,

and His patient love for her.

That's all I want you to know tonight.

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