Christian Living

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Many people are so preoccupied with their own selves that they have a difficult time hearing people out. I'm reminded of a friend of mine a long time ago who often sought advice from me. He seldom benefitted from counsel. Why? He won't take time to listen.

For those of us who are used to speaking, it may be difficult to listen. But, in order to grow as a person and relate well to others, we must cultivate good listening habits. This include developing a listening ear as well as a listening heart.

A possible cause of this problem of listening is pride. If we know a lot and consider ourselves an authority in an area, a strong tendency is to be talking more when we should be listening. After all, we are the experts! We have the answers to almost any problem!

Except that the person we're talking with may feel less inclined to continue talking to us. When people find that we're always interrupting with unsolicited advice, useless observations, or inaccurate understandings and not hearing them out, they'll go. It is by listening to them enough that will make it easier for them to listen to us.

I find that it is especially important that we be good listeners even in the casual contact of relationships. When I'm having classes, I always take time to listen to the students. It's not a one-way lecture. And after class, while walking on campus, I chat with and listen to them.

Many times, in "passing conversations," concerns or feelings that students have are revealed to me. This thus helps me find out where they are and what is on their hearts. This may not happen in the "official" contacts of classroom instruction. Learning from the students by listening aid me to be a better teacher to them.

Zeno of Citium, who lived 300 years before Christ, said, "The reason why we have 2 ears and only 1 mouth is that we may listen the more and talk the less." Scriptures likewise exhorted that we be "swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath" (James 1:19).

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