Healthy Living

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I never knew how saying a simple statement like, “ I really idolize my mother” could be so damaging, not only did God reveal to me just how damaging that statement is, but he also revealed to me that my mom was just as damaging.

For so long I believed everything my mother said, I never thought she would lie to me or hurt me, why would I, she is my mom.
The more I believed her the less I went to God. God began to open my eyes finally a few years ago, I was finally seeing what everyone else had seen years ago, but it wasn't until I heard Paula White on her series on relationships, that God spoke very loud and clear to me. In her discussion on relationships, she was talking about how to have a healthy relationship and how to recognize an unhealthy one. The statement that she made was “ We can want to have a relationship with someone so bad, that it can become an idol to us.” When she said that, it was like God was sitting in my living room talking to me. At that moment God revealed to me that I had put my trust in the wrong parent and because I had done this, I have spent my entire life, looking for mothers love and acceptance, I was looking for something that I was never going to receive from her.
The day God revealed this, was the day that God told me that he had always loved and accepted me, he accepted me for who I was and that all I needed to do was come to him and trust him.
Since this revelation, I have finally begun to love myself and I have finally learned to accept myself and realize that I am worth something.
I no longer look to my mom for anything, if my mother does not call me, (which she does not.) I don't cry or get upset, I talk to God about it, when I am in need of a hug or comfort, he will send me to a scripture.
I have learned to fully trust God and to thank him for all he has revealed and will continue to reveal to me.
I have asked God to work in my heart to be able to forgive my mother and eventually I will want to have a relationship with her, but I know that I can't until God makes me stronger so that I won't get hurt by her again.
It's amazing that God still loves us even when we don't always go to him, and even if we trust the wrong person, God is still there waiting for us to open the door.

You read in the Bible that we are supposed to love and honor your parents, I think parents need to honor and respect their children as well.
The most important lesson I can say that I learned from my mom, and that I can pass on to my kids, is to always be there for them, from the time they are born and grow, because at every age in their life, they will still need me to be their mother.
I am glad that even at my age, I still and will always need my Healthy Heavenly Father.

Amen

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