Christian Living

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Larry Lilly's Letter Friday June 2, 2006

According to a survey group to which I submit each article, the ones on marriage/personal relationships are read much more than articles on any other subject. I find this strange as the wife of my youth is certain that I do not have a clue on these two issues. And I admit she is more adept at such than me by a long shot.

I came across a story about a famous Jewish Rabbi, Levi Yitzhak. It seems the erudite Rabbi was sitting in a tavern in Poland. Two men who were in their cups, began assuring one another how each loved the other with strong brotherly love. Ivan said to Peter;

"Peter, tell me, what hurts me?"

Peter through drunken eyes looked at Ivan and with the slurred speech of a drunk said,

"How do I know what hurts you?"

Immediately Ivan came back with,

"If you don't know what hurts me, how can you say you love me?"

If, as Paul says in scripture, "Love is kind" then it follows that true love will over time learn just where the one loved hurts and either place the balm of understanding just where it hurts or in kind wisdom leave that place alone.

True love does not desire to hurt, but to heal, to comfort and to encourage.

When you observe a person deliberately hurting a professed loved one with cutting words and then acting as though they were unaware of that sore spot, you mark it down the person is near the village idiot level or just plain mean.

Years ago an old man who lived in the mountains and had a lovely family noticed my predilection for teasing Joyce. In kindness he warned me that I was hurting her with some of my remarks. I had the good sense to listen to him and after all these years, I have learned many of the places where Joyce hurts and I ask and receive from the Lord grace to note them and help her if possible and make a wide pass around them, even we are arguing and she is winning, which is most of the time. If I say things that are in the area of hurt, I may win the argument, but I promise the battle is lost.

So, next time you are around someone you say you love, be it brotherly, or marital, try to learn so place where your loved hurts and vow that by the grace of God you will help in that area, often by simply leaving it alone.

Larry Lilly Copyright © 2006 Use with credit.

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