Marriage

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I use to think, when I was young and naive, that valentine’s day was about the roses and chocolate. I use to think that a spouse bought you these things to show you that he was devoted to you. Now that I am married I have realized that roses and chocolate are just wonderful thoughts that disappear after a few days. Love is something that should be built on a stone foundation.

My marriage started out slowly after two years of serious dating and getting to know each other. I soon found out that my spouse while tender, loving, and sweet, is no Shakespeare or soppy romantic movie star. He procrastinates about every holiday until the day of or, in the case of Christmas, the day before. His intentions are always good but his actions are always so slow.

At first I thought he would change once the kids came. Little did I know when those blue eyes shine at Christmas time it is because Mommy went shopping with Daddy’s money. The nicely wrapped presents were usually wrapped by me as well, but the thought truly did come from both of us.

Birthdays, Mother’s Day, all of these great gift giving times are put off or completely forgotten about until somebody in the family speaks up first:

“Daddy are we going shopping for mom today?” asks my sweet six year old angel.

Yawning he looks away from the t.v. and over at his precious daughter, and says, “Why?”

Exasperated and angry she growls. “Tomorrow is Mother’s day.”

“Oh, it is.” Shaking his head and mumbling to himself he nods his head to his daughter in agreement of the plan and goes back to watching his show. The same plan that happens every year, because he forgets or puts it off til the last minute and then wonders why it just jumps out at him.

Now maybe I should be hurt or at least exasperated by this, but when I prayed to God to let this man fall in love with me, I wasn’t asking for the material wants that all of these holidays bring. I was asking for someone to cherish me with love. To never forget that I have feelings or desires. I wanted somebody who would look at me and love me for who I am, and not for what they wanted me to be.

I am lucky in that regard. I have a man who wakes up and has to give me a kiss, morning breath and all. A man who will send an email everyday just to tell me how his day is going and what plans he has. I have a wonderful, loving spouse who never leaves the house without hugging and kissing his entire family. He never hangs up from the phone without an I love you even while his co-workers are present in the room. Even when we have had a huge argument he is bound to voice out those three little words, never wanting to end a conversation without me knowing that he cherishes every irritable hair on my head.

So I thank God everyday for giving me this wonderful spouse who loves his family whole heartedly and even at work is unafraid to show it. Truly the true meaning of Valentines day should be shared throughout the year and not left to just one day. I can’t take cute trinkets or beautiful jewelry with me to heaven, but I can always cherish my husband’s generosity and kindness.

Maybe that is why Jesus and Paul spent so much time talking about love and very little time talking about money and material wants. Love goes with you everywhere but material possessions will eventually have to be left behind.

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