Marriage

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Love Connection
By Dan Blankenship

“For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.” (Genesis 2:24)



I have been married for eighteen years. These days that is a long time for two people to stay together. And while the divorce rate is declining, studies show that the reason it is on the waning is because more couples are choosing to live together outside of matrimony. It can’t be a good sign when today’s relationships are so unstable that the best way couples see to avoid divorce is to avoid marrying in the first place.

Marriage is not an easy venture. Next to our relationship with the Lord it is the single biggest decision most of us ever make. But even the best suited partners run into difficult times in a marriage. People change a great deal over the course of a long marriage: we gain weight (not sure why I listed that one first); we discover more about our own character and our partner’s character; we change jobs; we discover new hobbies and forget about old ones; and we usually discover a whole new way to view the world as we raise our children.

When God created mankind, he made men and women to be in the company of each other. If it wasn’t good for man to be all alone, the opposite also must be true. And when a man and a woman decide they “love” to be in the company of each other, I think they are experiencing the feeling God intended them to feel. But that feeling, that wonderful enchantment that leads couples to grow so close they casually finish each others’ sentences, seemingly read each others’ minds, and can’t stand to be apart from each other does fade as time and stress erodes a little bit of that blind love (romantic) we hear so much about.

Never fear, there are ways to rekindle that spark. Do the unexpected! Yes, you heard me. If your spouse has a favorite restaurant, a favorite sports team, or even (if finances allow) a favorite vacation spot, and it has been quite a while since he or she has been able to enjoy one of the aforementioned luxuries, go for it. Treat him or her to a gift they don’t expect, and as you present the surprise remind your significant how much you appreciate sharing your life with that person.

Another way to rekindle the spark in a relationship is to “slow down.” Our world has become so fast paced that there is little time to just reflect on exactly what is important in out lives. Take a night off and simply go for a drive, go out for a pie, or catch a movie – just the two of you. I know in my own marriage we often feel that we “must” include the kids in any activity that we do. Couples need time to themselves, even if the call to do so seems rather obligatory. And that time should be used to remain intimately close to one another, remembering and reflecting on a bond that God brought together – that God created.

A friend of mine once said that bucket seats were one of worst inventions of all times. He insist that there was a time in American history when husbands and wives would have refused to drive a car with bucket seats, not embracing the possibility of letting plastic moldings separate them from each other. I contend that our complacency in celebrating why God created man and woman in the first place is the greatest cause of stale relationships. But I do admit my friend’s theory about bucket seats somewhat coincides with the increase in the divorce rate; definitely something to think about.




SOURCE: Jayson, Sharon, “Divorce Declining, But So Is Marriage,” USATODAY, 7/18/2005, http://www.usatoday.com/news/nation/2005-07-18-cohabit-divorce_x.htm

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