Humor

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Happy Easter, everyone! Jesus the Christ has risen! I am really excited about how God is moving this year. I really believe that things are only going to speed up from here. I had better cool off before I began to preach. Believe me, a preacher I am not. I think that it is important to know what God has called you to do. I think it is even more important to do His will, and not your own. I told you, I am not preaching today!

One of my favorite things about Easter is the candy. I admit it. I love the yellow marshmallow ducks, the pink bunny rabbits, and Cadbury Eggs. I know that all of you remember the giant chocolate bunnies. Tell the truth, now. I know you would always eat the poor rabbit’s ears first, then move on to something else, leaving him lying there all embarrassed. I am sure he was looking for someplace to hide so all the marshmallow bunnies would not pick on him.

One Easter in particular, the candy fought back and took all of us little boys down. This is the story of “THE WHITMAN’S SAMPLER INCIDENT”.

Mom had let my cousins Jeff and Kevin spend the Saturday night before Easter Sunday at our house. At this time, my aunt (Not Kevin and Jeff’s Mother) lived with us. She worked in a office and someone would always be giving her Whitman’s Samplers. Whitman’s Sampler’s are a box of assorted chocolates. Our basement freezer was full of them.

My mother let us sleep down in the basement after we begged her. And us being little boys, my brother and I had been keeping tabs on those boxes of chocolate downstairs. But we understood what would happen to our rear-ends if we were caught eating my aunt’s chocolate.

Now, I am sure that all of you have been given chocolate’s before. So you understand that some pieces taste better than others, and some flavors are downright nasty. After snatching a box from the freezer, my big brother come up with the plan. “If we take this box, we have to eat every piece or mom will find it and we will be in trouble.” He than assigned values to the tasty pieces of candy. For every piece of good candy, you would have to eat a few pieces of the bad. The values were something like this:

1. Jordan Almonds = 5 pieces of coconut
2. Orange or Strawberry Creams =4 pieces of the Butter creams

After the premium candy was gone, we split the rest by preference. Jeff liked the caramel, so he ate those. Kevin liked the dark chocolate, so he ate those, etc. I noticed that my brother mainly ate the premium pieces without paying the penalty, so to speak. But to challenge the unfairness would have earned me a quick slap. What was I going to do, tell Mom?

After eating all the chocolate, we burned the box in the woodstove and attempted to sleep. It was around 3 in the morning when we finally fell asleep. Needless to say, we were all quite green when we woke up that morning. Mom greeted us with a smile and said “Happy Easter! I have some candy for you!”
We all about ran to the bathroom when she handed us all the small size box of Whitman’s Samplers. I do not think we told her the truth about our “Easter Illness” until we were adults. What I still have not figured out is, “Would not chocolate have burned in the stove as easy as the box?” I think I am going to ask my brother about that.

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