Short Stories

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“Locked into L.O.C.K.”



It was one of those Michigan fall mornings I termed “drainy,” a cross between dreary and rainy. These days were far more prevalent than the sunny days that highlighted the beauty of the autumn foliage. Drainy also described the state of my body from the all too familiar Seasonal Affect Disorder found in cloudy regions such as ours.

There was little energy left when I dragged my body through the back entrance of the local Christian bookstore. Ordinarily, visiting this place lifted my spirits, seeing the new books on the shelves, browsing in the card section and getting teased by the owner Jim, but not today. Timidly I peeked around the corner into Jim’s office, just praying he would be there and not busy.

Jim was a tall man whose sense of humor, combined with his faithful walk with the Lord, had the ability to encourage and put a smile on anyone’s face. He led a Bible study once a week in his store where my brother-in-law David came away blessed. It was through David that I met Jim. No matter how much teasing took place, I sensed he
was a man of great spiritual maturity and integrity.

A long line of assignments awaited me after my divorce in 1987. I remained single after an abusive l6 year marriage. I was considered to be a victorious survivor, but I attributed that to the fact that I was grounded in Scripture and believed God when he promised He would never leave me, nor forsake me. I fully relied on him to meet my needs, be my husband, friend, and my all in all!

In 1998, after years of assignments, I found myself as a resident advisor in a women’s shelter. The men’s shelter, office, and soup kitchen was located behind us, and I would have to make at least one trip a week over there for supplies. It was not my favorite thing to do, but today I interrupted a conversation of a man as he was just giving away a highly prized possession of a “State” football ticket to the men’s resident advisor. My face was flushed, but it was not red from embarrassment; it was green with envy! As I listened I surmised that here standing before me was another bona fide fanatic “State Fan.”

I did not graduate from State, but many of my friends and relatives did, including my father. He received his teaching degree under the G.I. Bill with four children and a wife, living in married housing they called the barracks. I was only five at the time, but one of the many memories was seeing a large stadium looming in the distance and hearing a thundering noise once in a while echoing across the campus.

The one thing I found common in all State alumni was this incurable disease called
AEAFLOTAM (Abnormal enthusiasm and fierce loyalty to the Alma Mater). My brother-in-law is one of the victims of this malady. Arriving on his doorstep one day, I was denied access into his home because I was wearing the State’s rivalry sweatshirt. I suspected he was joking, but after seeing him on game days watching his team play, I noticed all fairness and common sense fly out the window, whether it was kick-off or tip-off. If I was going to survive in this family and among friends, I figured my only defense was to be on the offense and succumb to the same fanaticism.

So who was this man giving away these tickets? He was a tall balding man named Charlie. He appeared to be an extremely intelligent, highly educated man. One would wonder years ago about seeing such a man pass through a shelter house, but today it is becoming a common occurrence due to downsizing, bankruptcy, addictions, and natural disasters. A conversation began and continued over coffee in the dining room. His story was the bankruptcy of his insurance company selling policies to universities. He had wealth, but due to some problems with his ex-wife and business partner his assets remained frozen until things could be worked out. His claim to a great deal of wealth did not impress me. I had not been accustomed to wealth and believed since it could all be gone in a moment, as had been witnessed during my time at the shelter, I went with a different philosophy. All things were under God’s control, and Scripture says that to whom much has been given, much is required. He blesses people who have the gift of giving to build up His kingdom, and the more they bless, they will tell you the more they are blessed. I was content with the gift of teaching that was given me, and I used this gift for building up His kingdom. I relied on God to meet all my needs, which He has so faithfully done all my life.

What did impress me was how extremely knowledgeable Charlie was about any subject that was discussed. He was very loquacious and could fit in socially with whoever passed his way. These seemed to be good traits of a salesman. He also, at times, came across quite opinionated. I sensed a little prideful attitude sneaking out.

There were many conversations over the next few months. I was a biker, and borrowing a bike from a neighbor across the street who had a number of them sitting in his garage, Charlie joined me on bike trips. Frank and his wife led us in the early morning hours to their favorite breakfast place seven miles up the bike trail. The fellowship with my two Christian neighbors was wonderful, and I felt a friendship developing with Charlie. I also enjoyed the benefits of his highly prized possession of State’s season tickets.

The chill of the crisp fall day, as we entered the stadium to see this mighty team play, was not what created goose bumps and tingles all over my body. It was a connection with my childhood of going into the past and entering into something that seemed surreal.
Shuffling our way to our assigned seats gave way to some rather proud thoughts of God allowing me to attend these games, even though I was not asked by friends or family in the past. Out of my reverie I heard the voices of fans that, looking like their loyalty spanned many years, greeted Charlie. They not only recognized him, but also jovially spoke with him. Any further doubts were erased after my father checked into the reality of his divorce, with Dad’s cousin living in the same town as where he said he came from. Everything checked out as he said.

It was required to attend church at the shelter. Charlie gladly went. He was raised Catholic, but rather liked our contemporary church services.

It wasn’t long before I introduced Charlie to my brother-in-law David and my sister Caroline. Instantly the male sports bonding took place. They entered into another universe that women are denied access. Sports lingo became the language communicated. The words associated with universities, coaches, statistics, players, standings, and trades droned on and on while watching in-between commercials or when we got together to “hang out.”

There was an exception with David. Yes, he was a sports addict to a point, but he also had knowledge of another universe whose coach was Father, Son, and Holy Ghost. Years ago he signed up, not just as a fan, but a team player. Part of his ability to keep things in perspective was due to the mentoring and influence of Jim and his Bible study. David invited Charlie to their early morning studies and Charlie took him up on his offer and attended frequently. What was said or learned, I’m not sure, but I do know that Scripture says that once gone out, God’s Word does not return void. I prayed the seeds sown would fall on fertile soil in his heart. He definitely was exposed to a new way of life and looking at things differently.

Charlie’s sense of responsibility and reliability, along with his “tow the line” philosophy, put him in favor with the shelter board, and once finding out where he stood with the Lord and the conversion that was made, they asked him to become the advisor when the other one left. The shelter needed a man to act with some authority to settle some problems they had with their “guests.” He accepted the position, but he also had an evening job to juggle.

In time our friendship raised to a level where we were talking about a future together. He explained that the time was coming closer, as he talked to his lawyer, that the business problems were being resolved and then we could actually set a date.

It was during this time that our relationship became strained and rocky. Arguments, accusations, and confusion reigned daily; in fact it became downright ugly. With a great deal of persuasion Charlie had convinced me that I was mostly to blame and I was convinced that I was doing something wrong. It was with this state of mind that I thanked God that Jim was in his office and had time to listen to me. After my concerns were voiced, Jim shared a philosophy that kept his marriage strong as well as dealing with any other circumstances in which he found himself. He entitled it the L.O.C.K. system. Where he got it from he says he doesn’t remember. It goes something like this:

“L”- stands for “Let It Go!”

Life is just too short to allow any irritation originating from people or circumstances to upset you. Proverbs 19:11 (NIV) states that “a man’s wisdom gives him patience; it is to his glory to overlook an offense.”

“O”- stands for “On Your Knees.”

When there is a little more than a minor offense, or it is something that you just can’t shake off your shoulders, the wisest thing to do is to fall to your knees. If the burden is getting a bit heavy and it is something you just can’t seem to resolve, or do something about it, then “Go to jail, go directly to jail.” Let your jail cell be where it is just you and your heavenly Father. How else will you know what He wants you to do unless you present it to him? Then your part is to listen to Him and in obedience think, say, and do what He says. It is guaranteed that when that heavy weight rolls off your shoulders onto His, you will rise lighter knowing that both He and you know the battle is now His. He will bring a change. It may surprise you to know it is not always a change in the other person, or the circumstance, but a change in you that will resolve the problem. He may provide you with a fresh outlook at the situation and give you the empathy to walk in another’s shoes.

“C”- stands for “Confront.”

When the ‘L’ and the ‘O’ have failed then it may be that God is prompting you to go to the next step. This step is one of the hardest of all steps for anyone because it involves much preparation in prayer, and a listening and loving heart that seeks out, or presents the truth to a person. This is where you must allow God to go before you, and in love and compassion confront in love. Again positive changes may or may not occur, but changes have to come in God’s own time and in His own way. There may be a reconciliation, or growth for everyone involved including you. You have done everything now, and it is between God and His precious Spirit and the other person to make things “right” again.

“K”- stands for “Keep!”

Keep the love flowing, keep forgiving, keep the faith, for as stated in I Corinthians 13:5 (NIV), “Love keeps no records of wrongs.”

It was necessary to let my rights and many things go, but I still found much to pray about. Things began to get very tense, and I was advised that men in such positions as Charlie needed patience, support, and some space. My duty was to pray.

How dearly I thank my prayer partner for coming along side of me and praying with me. She was also going through a very difficult time with a man that called for prayer, and as we held each other and the whole situation up to Him, we both felt much lighter knowing God was hearing our prayers and working behind the scenes.

Shortly after my prayers and talk with Jim, the phone call came from Charlie’s lawyer.
His business partner Bill was in Phoenix and gravely ill. If he wanted to transact any business he needed to fly out soon. I loaned him some money; he borrowed the rest and departed for Phoenix with hopes he would return soon with all the money needed to repay his lenders and rebuild his business. He promised to call when he could. His calls were infrequent and quite vague. Word came that Bill had died and he was going to fly with the body back to Florida for burial, get his money, and be home to join us on Thanksgiving Day at my parent’s house. He had endeared himself to my family and we all eagerly looked forward to that day. A large “Welcome Home” banner was made and with anticipation we waited; hours passed and more hours. Then there were no more hours to pass on that day, no show, no word. I was frightened. Bewildered and confused, I returned to my substitute teaching. Days passed, and more days and then weeks; still nothing.

During this agonizing time my very good friend did some sleuthing on my behalf. He contacted Charlie’s ex-wife. Charlie did not have a business partner named Bill. Charlie did not even have a business. He did not have a lawyer, a son in California, or a penny to his name.

I was substitute teaching one day in a local elementary school immersed in my fifth grade class when a man stuck his head in the door; I saw it was Charlie. All he said was “Meet me back at the shelter when school gets out, and I will explain it all.” Too many feelings swept over me to think clearly. However, I knew I wanted Jim there to hear this story, and I immediately called him; he said he would come. This was the big “C” time, confrontation, and I prayed I would be ready for it. Seeing Charlie’s face again brought up such feelings of anger, sadness, grief, and frustration. I had masked my feelings in the wonderful state of denial and I could cope. I don’t remember how I acted until school was dismissed.

The minute I saw Charlie’s face enter the dining room I saw his face flush with anger when he spotted Jim. It was another one of those “How dare you bring anyone else into our business!” looks. I will never fall for that line again when I know it is a man’s pride which prevents him from getting help, and causes him to control another person so as not to expose anything. Trying hard to control himself in front of Jim, he sat down. I immediately began telling him the truth of what we had found out about all his deceptions. He was quiet, held his face in his hands and said, “Once I lied I just couldn’t stop. Each lie was said to cover up another one.” He confessed to lying, but he offered no more. Where he had been, what he was doing, and where the money went he would not tell. The only words out of his mouth were, “It’s gone.” He might take Jim up on the offer of talking more, but I did not want to see him again. He not only deceived me, but the shelter board, Jim and the Bible study, my friends, and relatives.

The backwash of what he had done lay heavily on my shoulders, and I carried the guilt of having caused it all. What brought me comfort was the scripture from Galatians 6:7 “Do not be deceived; God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows.” (NIV) Asked to leave the shelter immediately by the board, Charlie packed up and found a place out in the country with some of the former residents with whom he had become acquainted. I went to return something once to him and prayed he would have some answers for me. All I found was Charlie staying with a man who mocked Christianity with his satanic posters, music, and speech. This young man was raised with the Bible, but with a rebellious heart rejected Christ. I found little hope in the redemption of Charlie’s soul. I so wanted revenge and on my knees with Scripture from Hebrews 10:30 speaking to me, “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” (NIV) my faith was strengthened.

Spring dawned and along with it came renewed hope. A phone call came from my son living in Chicago. He had heard of my plight and wanted to rescue me. He wanted to come to pick me up and take me back with him to stay for a week in Chicago. This to me was one step shy of a miracle! My son had left me to go live with his father at the age of 15. On his own after that, I rarely saw him, which left a deep scar on me, an empty spot in my heart, and always a prayer of someday having that relationship restored. In response to his offer, I never packed so quickly in all my life!

Here I was in the “Windy City,” escorted around by my son, seeing the sights, eating out at his favorite places, at his office in his computer company, and soaking in the delight of seeing the man my son had become! I reluctantly packed my suitcase on the last night when I received a phone call. It was from my good friend Vicki in another city. She had just received a phone call from Charlie who was lying in a hospital calling for me. She explained about the airlift from the car accident happening in two counties away. His speeding car smashed head on into a tree.

My son and I left and drove nonstop through the night for seven hours. Once inside Michigan I asked to use his cell phone. Calling Sharon, who was covering for me, I told her what had happened. She said there was a note addressed to me in our mailbox. I gave her permission to open it and read it. Neither one of us was surprised that it was a suicide note.

With the endeavor of his suicide failing, lying broken in many pieces, and unable to do much for himself, I went to visit him. I thought, at last, God has this man’s attention and maybe repentance would take place! At last, this man will cry out to God in complete surrender, acknowledging Him as being the only real one that could help. When I saw him alone in that bed I did not see this. I saw a man still holding on to his pride with arrogance written all over his stitched face. Someone had already informed the hospital that it was a suicide attempt and with no insurance the hospital could only do what they could for him. A psychologist was called in and recommended that he not leave the hospital until an appointment was set up for counseling. I offered the names of the best that we worked with at the shelter house. It was up to him to make the call. He did, but before I left he made one last request. Could I go find the junkyard where his car was towed and retrieve his wallet? Reluctantly, I said yes.

Sharon volunteered to go with me and we drove around looking for this place two counties away. When we found it the owner said, “Sure, go ahead and look.” Finding the car I approached it and just stopped. I stared at the white accordion with the trunk behind the front seat and I just froze. There was this pit in my stomach, my legs started to shake, and I fell to the ground moaning and crying, as if I had just witnessed it happening. All the feelings from the past few months surfaced and tumbled out in tears.
“Oh, Lord, how could anyone live through that? Why didn’t you just let him die?” Sharon comforted me and we went on with the task of finding his wallet amidst the wreckage. It was found, but Sharon and I both stared at each other as we found gambling books and casino material in the trunk where the back seat should have been. Sharon and I had long suspected that he was a gambler, but had no real proof until now. One of the biggest casinos lay within just a few miles from where the accident happened. The evening job he went to at night was now explained. Now things were starting to fall into place and no longer did I have to find out his whereabouts and where the money had gone. Any other details, I did not even want to know about. I returned his wallet, looked straight into his angry blue eyes and confronted him with none of my love, but only God’s love for a lost sinner and said, “You are a liar, a con-man, and a gambling addict! I hope you keep your counseling appointments because you are a sick man!”

When Charlie was released he did keep his first appointment, but never returned.
Proverbs 26:11 described it well, “As a dog returns to his vomit, so a fool returns to his folly.” (NIV) Charlie hooked up with the same people from the country, and they all took up residence in a small rundown house off the beaten track on the edge of town. Just once I went there to return something and felt nauseated at the dark satanic aura that was so pervasive in, out, and around the place. The music, smell of marijuana, the posters, and symbols around the house all screamed evil, and I turned and ran.

Sharon and I went before the Lord in agony. She was going through a similar situation, and being seekers of truth there was just too much lately that we just couldn’t let go, so it was down on our knees and we came together to hold an all night prayer vigil for these people and her situation. If anyone doubts the power of prayer, a book that God had prepared me to write about my faith journey would tell of answered prayer on every page. Sharon and I did not realize just how quickly our answers would come.

The following evening dusk was enveloping the city as I drove to my parent’s house. I did not like the fact that I had to pass Charlie’s place in order to get there. Turning the corner and glancing quickly at the satanic place, I swerved into the nearest driveway and turned around. Seven police cars were flashing their lights, yellow tape was being put up around the house, and I went there! All those living in the house were taken into custody.
Charlie had been arrested that afternoon and the rest a few minutes before I got there.
The headlines the next day told of a large theft ring finally apprehended. The crimes they had committed has taken in many counties and involved a number of people.

After these events, months passed and I worked through the anger, bitterness of never hearing a full confession, not seeing complete repentance, and the acceptance of the fact that restitution will never take place with my family and friends. Thus, I came back to the beginning of the circle of L.O.C.K. I indeed now had to “Let It Go!” It was only by God’s grace and help that I could do this.

The Lord shortly took me by the hand and led me out of the entire situation and placed me in another assignment. I moved to a beautiful city up in the northern part of our state, and I was blessed to teach 5th and 6th graders in a private Christian school. I felt it a privilege of giving another generation the wisdom of God’s Word and an honor to give them the nuggets of L.O.C.K. I am most grateful to one man who shared with me a treasure found in God’s Word. Thank you, Jim.

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