Kids & Parenting

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Slowly, With Reason

It really intrigues me how we as mothers seem to live under others expectations. We not only accept this but try to live up to it. I get being consistent. I get living what you teach. I even get being fair, although there are exceptions. But why do we do what we do?
I found myself taking my eight, six and three year old to soccer practice one day and it just wasn’t fun. Not in the “Oh, I am tired and have had a long day” kind of not fun but the kind of not fun that made me uneasy. I was losing the reason. I had enrolled two in soccer and scouts at the same time. My "reason" was kids need to benefit from diversity, scouts offer individual growth and soccer teaches teamwork. Sounds reasonable- right? Reasonable if your goal is to run your kids around so much your not really sure what’s really going on with them, their day, their thoughts, what made them laugh that day or what hurt their feelings. I think I may have gone a whole six weeks without getting into their brains to see what was really going on with them. That scared me. More than a risk of a little individual growth being put off or that they wouldn’t be able to kick a ball to someone else. It scared me even more to think I didn’t really notice I wasn’t in their life for that long until it was almost over. The season. The meetings. The chairs. The fund-raises. The uniforms. All good. Yes. Beneficial? Yes. Recommended? Sure. Will I ever do extracurricular again? Of course. But next season, one craft at a time. Our family will be enjoying themselves. Slowly, with reason. And I will be checking into my instincts about what I believe is best and what I have heard is best. There is a lot to be said for what feels right and what really just doesn’t work.

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