Christian Living

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Have you ever thought about how you listen to others?
by Dan Langerock

Listening is one of the most important skills we can develop in our lives, yet it is one of the most neglected. How we listen will help determine how successful we are in business, our jobs, and relationships. Let's look at a couple of ways that people listen to others:

Our mind is elsewhere--- We hear the person talking to us, but our mind is doing something else at the same time. We only half-hear what is going on, and are possibly setting ourselves up for trouble in a variety of ways. When we don't listen with our whole attention, we may not hear the important content of what the person is saying, and may act in a wrong manner because of this misinformation. We also can make others angry and feeling unappreciated by our lack of attention to their words. This can lead to ruptured relationships and possibly the same treatment when we have something to say to them.

Mentally analyzing what is being said--- Instead of listening and then making decisions about the content, we have the bad habit of analyzing and problem-solving while the person is still talking. We can miss a lot of valuable information by doing this. One problem is that our mind is traveling so much faster than the person's speaking that we think we can divide our attention and still get what we need from them.


The TV or something else is going on--- Do you think it is normal to have to compete with a TV or something else when you are trying to communicate? In the business world, this is called multi-tasking, and is encouraged, to see how many things you can squeeze into one minute or one hour or one day. This also adds to our stress level because we are so busy trying to jam something else in, there is no time to relax between responsibilities. What would happen to your car if you drove it 100 miles an hour all day long? Try to stop what you are doing when listening is required so you can get the full impact of the person's words.

It is not enough to just hear the person speaking, we must put our whole self into what is being said. A lot of misconstrued ideas and arguments can be avoided by paying closer attention to those who are trying to communicate with us. If it is a relative or spouse, are we showing we love them by partially ignoring them in this manner? Think about what you are telling them by how you listen. How do you want to be treated when the tables are turned?

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